IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that children of all ages should have extra responsibilities (for example, helping at home or at work). Others believe that, outside of school, children should be free to enjoy their lives. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many would argue that youngsters at any age should have more
duties
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 others would say that, beyond school, kids should spend their day as they want.
While
Linking Words
 giving minors extra tasks will teach them how to be responsible people in the future, I believe that they should just live their childhood appropriately because if they didn't, they are more likely to face mental problems. On the one hand, assigning juveniles for excessive assignments will lead them to be trustworthy people. When
children
Use synonyms
 receive a lot of tasks at their early age, it will develop their sense of responsibility and their problem-solving skills because their minds have become used to these conditions.
For example
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, the current Prime Minister of Singapore , Lee Hsien Loong, stated that at the age of 10, his father, Lee Kuan Yew, assigned him household and group chores, which taught him discipline, time management, and problem-solving
,
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apply
show examples
 skills that later helped him lead the government.
However
Linking Words
, I believe that they should enjoy their childhood
instead
Linking Words
 of worrying about their
duties
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it is thought that the more responsibilities the kids have, the more they are going to suffer from psychological problems later on in their lives. The pure nature of youngsters is simply to enjoy life.
Therefore
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, putting stress on them by giving them
duties
Use synonyms
 that they can't handle will reflect on them as psychological problems because they were not created for
this
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.
For instance
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, a 2013 study at the University of Wisconsin–Madison found that excessive stress and responsibilities on
children
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 early on increase the risk of anxiety and depression later on,
due to
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 the effect of high cortisol on brain development. I believe
this
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 school of thought is preferable because it maintains
children
Use synonyms
's mental health. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 giving
children
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 extra responsibilities can help develop their sense of responsibility, I believe enjoying their childhood is far more important, as excessive
duties
Use synonyms
 may significantly increase the risk of mental health issues.

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structure
Make your main view clear in the first sentence of the essay.
content
Give one clear reason for each side and add a short example.
language
Use simple link words to connect ideas like but, also, then.
content
The essay states both sides and gives your own view at the end.
content
There is an attempt to use real examples and a study.
structure
The essay has a clear order: intro, two body parts, conclusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • extra responsibilities
  • develop skills
  • life lessons
  • work ethic
  • sense of responsibility
  • contribute to
  • family
  • community
  • playtime
  • physical development
  • mental development
  • balance
  • enjoyment
  • guide
  • childhood
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