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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the donation given to six different types of charity by one company from 2012 to 2014. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the donation given to six different types of charity by one company from 2012 to 2014. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart illustrates information concerning the charities that were donated to by one company from 2012 to 2014. The data can be
categorized
Use the right word
categorised
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 into Social Welfare, Education, Environment, Health, Wildlife, and Arts.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen that Social Welfare was the charity that received the largest
amount
Use synonyms
 of money during the period from 2012 to 2014.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the lowest
amount
Use synonyms
 of money was given to the Arts charity.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, Social Welfare received the highest
amount
Use synonyms
in
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apply
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every year, with around 28 thousand
dollars
Use synonyms
 being the most, which occurred in 2014. Moving to Education and Environment, they had almost the same
amount
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, with both peaking at approximately 8 thousand
dollars
Use synonyms
 in 2012.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the donation trend for Health and Wildlife charities increased continuously, from over 5,000
Use synonyms
dollars
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apply
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in 2012 to 8,000
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dollars
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apply
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in 2014, and from almost 4,000
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dollars
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apply
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in 2012 to 5,000
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dollars
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apply
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in 2014, respectively.
Lastly
Linking Words
, Arts was the only charity that received less than 5,000
dollars
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in
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apply
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every year.
While
Linking Words
 in 2012 and 2013 the company gave only 3,000
dollars
Use synonyms
, they increased the donation to 4,000
dollars
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
 year.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words amount, dollars with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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