IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Parents today often tend to organize extra classes on weekends or even after school. Do you believe this is at all useful? Or, do you think the education provided in school is sufficient?

Recently, additional
classes
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 were chosen by many
parents
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 who want their
children
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 to improve their academic performances,
whereas
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,
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apply
show examples
 others think that learning at
school
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 is enough. In my opinion, extra
classes
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 have more advantages outweigh disadvantages. To learn more effectively, extra courses might be needed
in
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for
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students
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 who couldn’t follow in
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classes
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classes,
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 since some learners might have different learning skills levels. Enrollment in additional
classes
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 on weekends or after
school
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 might help them cover their weak topics
,
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;
show examples
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therefore
Punctuation problem
therefore,
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 they could have an improvement in their grades.
Moreover
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, it could help them review what they had learned because in some tutoring
center
Replace the word
centres
show examples
, they gather exercises and exams for
students
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 to practice and help them understand topics more effectively. In Asia, Education is quite competitive
so
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, so
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 many
parents
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 want their
children
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 to be
the
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at the
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 top of
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classes
Correct pronoun usage
their classes
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 or
school
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 because getting high scores at
school
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 brings more
opportunity
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opportunities
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such
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, such
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 as higher chances to apply
into
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to
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 university or having an opportunity to compete
to
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with
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 other
students
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 in
country
Correct article usage
the country
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 or even other countries to
get
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gain
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an
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apply
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experience and fame.
As a consequence
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, their
children
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 could have
good
Correct article usage
a good
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 career in the future and studying at
school
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 might not be sufficient.
In those
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Those
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 people who disagree
to let
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with letting
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 their
children
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to
Verb problem
apply
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attend extra
classes
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 argue that extra
classes
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 are sometimes expensive
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 tutors who teach their
children
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 might not be
an
Correct article usage
apply
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expert
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experts
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.
Furthermore
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, no official
organization
Use the right word
organisation
show examples
 exists to evaluate or accredit the quality of
such
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classes
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.
Due to
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 concerns about quality, some
parents
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 question whether additional
classes
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 are truly worthwhile for their
children
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. Another
points
Fix the agreement mistake
point
show examples
 to consider is
studying
Correct word choice
that studying
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 after
school
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 could bring more stress to
children
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 even make them more exhausted.
For instance
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, after
school
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 or
weekends
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at weekends
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 are the
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time
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times
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 that
children
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 do their homework or do other hobbies.
This
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 would cause workloads for them and they might get no
time
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 to find
themselve
Correct your spelling
themselves
.
As a result
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 of that,
children
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 might get
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bad grades for not
being done
Wrong verb form
doing
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 their homework
in
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on
show examples
time
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 or
grew
Wrong verb form
grow
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 up without knowing what they like or what to become in the future
and
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, and
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 it would be a waste of
time
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. In conclusion, I believe that having
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
additional
classes
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 after
school
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 or on weekends has many benefits to
children
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 whose
parents
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 can afford and want their
children
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 to have a good occupation when they grow up
since
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, since
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 studying hard can help
children
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to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
comprehend
in
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apply
show examples
their lessons and get
a
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apply
show examples
better
grade
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grades
show examples
.
On the other hand
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, if
parents
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 choose a poor quality tutoring
center
Use the right word
centre
show examples
 with costly courses, it would
get
Verb problem
be
show examples
a
Correct article usage
an
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 unsatisfying experience for them and their
children
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.
Moreover
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,
students
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 may lose an opportunity to learn new things
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it would not be a productive
used
Replace the word
use
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 of
time
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.

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structure
Make the flow of ideas steady. Use one idea per paragraph with a clear topic sentence. Cut long run-on sentences.
content
Give more balance. State one clear view and give more straight reasons. Add more exact examples with simple facts.
grammar
Watch grammar and form. Use simpler sentence forms. Check plural and verb forms.
lexical
Use simple words. Some big words are not needed. Keep to easy words from the top 100.
strength
The writer shows a clear own view.
strength
There is a good use of paragraphs to separate ideas.
strength
Examples from Asia and tutors are used.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • extra
  • class
  • classes
  • weekend
  • after
  • school
  • useful
  • enough
  • child
  • parent
  • teacher
  • tutor
  • student
  • exam
  • test
  • score
  • gap
  • learn
  • study
  • practice
  • habit
  • focus
  • rest
  • play
  • time
  • cost
  • money
  • plan
  • choice
  • balance
  • goal
  • progress
  • center
  • online
  • one to one
  • group
  • good
  • bad
  • risk
  • stress
  • tired
  • health
  • decision
  • quality
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