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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the production levels of the main kinds of fuel in the UK between 1981 and 2000.

The graph below shows the production levels of the main kinds of fuel in the UK between 1981 and 2000.
This
Linking Words
 line graph illustrates the
production
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 levels of three different types of main fuels in the United Kingdom in the period from 1981 to 2000.
Overall
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, we could see that the quality of
petroleum
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 and natural
gas
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 was increasing,
while
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 the
production
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level
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 of coal was decreasing. In 1981, there were the highest energy
units
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 in
petroleum
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, with around 100
units
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, when the coal and natural
gas
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 only held 80
units
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 and approximately 40
units
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 respectively
,
Punctuation problem
.
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However
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, there was a sharp decline trend of coal between 1981 and 1986, which made it hit the lowest point below natural
gas
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. At the same time, the manufacturing
level
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 of natural
gas
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 exceeded the
level
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 of coal
with
Change preposition
by
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 exactly 40
units
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,
while
Linking Words
 the usage
level
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 of
petroleum
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 remained the highest using fuel, with 140
units
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. In 1991, we could see that the
level
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 of natural
gas
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 and coal was equal , with around 50
units
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,
while
Linking Words
 the fuel of
petroleum
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 was slightly decreasing, with 100
units
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.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, after 1991, two of the fuels, natural
gas
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 and
petroleum
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, started to increase significantly;
however
Linking Words
, the use of coal was decreasing slightly. In 2000, the
production
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 of
level
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 of
petroleum
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 was 140
units
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,
while
Linking Words
 the
production
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 of natural
gas
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 was 100
units
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. Simultaneously, the usage
level
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 of coal reached its lowest, with around 38
units
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.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words production, petroleum, gas, level, units with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • fluctuation
  • overall decline
  • depletion
  • shift in energy policies
  • global oil prices
  • extraction technology
  • cleaner energy sources
  • technological advancements
  • investment in nuclear energy
  • diversification
  • traditional fossil fuels
  • sustainable options
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