IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. do the advantage of this situation outweight disadvantages?

Nowadays
Punctuation problem
Nowadays,
show examples
 the society of some countries has
large
Correct article usage
a large
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of young
comparison
Check wording
people compared
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 older
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
. And
this
Linking Words
 is
say
Verb problem
to say
show examples
 I'm going to relatively of numbers and give my personal opinion.
Firstly
Linking Words
, one of the
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 for
large
Correct article usage
the large
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of young
adults
Use synonyms
 than older
people
Use synonyms
 low mortality rates
young
Change preposition
among young
show examples
people
Use synonyms
Punctuation problem
. For
show examples
for example
Linking Words
, young
man
Fix the agreement mistake
men
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 have
a good
Correct word choice
better
show examples
 health than
Correct pronoun usage
their grandfather
show examples
grandfather
Fix the agreement mistake
grandfathers
show examples
 or older
people
Use synonyms
. There are a lot of
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
 and
disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
show examples
one
Punctuation problem
. One
show examples
 advantage for
large
Correct article usage
a large
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of young
adults
Use synonyms
 have more energy to do a lot of work.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 hand, one of
Linking Words
this advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
these advantages
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the large
number
Use synonyms
 of young
adults
Use synonyms
 is
lose
Wrong verb form
losing
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
experience
Use synonyms
 from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
older
Linking Words
for
Fix capitalization
For
show examples
 example, there younger woman
Correct pronoun usage
who want
show examples
want
Correct subject-verb agreement
wants
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 to do her work
and she didn't
Verb problem
may not
show examples
 know how to do it
she
Punctuation problem
; she
show examples
 should ask someone older because they have
experience
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
In
Fix capitalization
in
show examples
 my opinion, I would say I'm not with a relatively large
number
Use synonyms
 of young
adults
Use synonyms
, compared with the
number
Use synonyms
 of older
people
Use synonyms
 in
servail
Correct your spelling
several
 countries
because
Punctuation problem
, because
show examples
 we should have older with benefit from it
like
Punctuation problem
, like
show examples
experience
Use synonyms
, wisdom,and
strengtheing
Correct your spelling
strengthening
 family ties and a lot of things like heritage. When we didn't have
older
Check wording
anyone older
show examples
 than us, we
will not
Correct your spelling
wouldn't
 learn anything. If we have just young
adults
Use synonyms
,
when
Rephrase
apply
show examples
where
the
Verb problem
was the
show examples
experience
Use synonyms
 or
listen
Wrong verb form
listening
show examples
from
Change preposition
to
show examples
 them. For
this
Linking Words
, we should maintain them and help them
Linking Words
while
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 they are tired.

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planning
Plan what you will write. Start with your view, then two or three points to back it up.
structure
Make each paragraph have one main idea and a short line to start it.
linking
Use small linking words like and, but, also to join ideas.
grammar
Check spelling and put the verbs in the right time so your writing is easy to follow.
content
Give a real example for each idea and say why it helps your view.
content
The writer states a clear view on the topic.
structure
Some examples are given to back up points.
content
The essay mentions both sides, which is good for task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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