IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people prefer to live in the city,while others feel that there are more advantages to living in the countryside. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in the city comared with living in the countryside.

In
this
Linking Words
 contemporary world, living in either city or
countryside
Use synonyms
areas
Use synonyms
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 become one of the most debatable
topic
Fix the agreement mistake
topics
show examples
.
While
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
 prefer living in rural
areas
Use synonyms
, many
people
Use synonyms
 would argue that living in urban
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 lifestyle owing to
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 more
oppertunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 regarding work and educational departments. In my context, living in big
cities
Use synonyms
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
 more
oppertunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 for young
people
Use synonyms
especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
show examples
 for students and job seekers.
To begin
Linking Words
,
There
Fix capitalization
there
show examples
 are several advantages of living in big
cities
Use synonyms
.
Lets
Use the right word
Let's
show examples
 start with education, there is no doubt that most of the
cities
Use synonyms
 provide
excellent
Correct article usage
an excellent
show examples
 platform for learners and students because
ofavailability
Correct your spelling
availability
 of qualified teachers and bigger universities and colleges.
Therefore
Linking Words
, a large number of population like to live in big
cities
Use synonyms
 to meet their educational needs. The second reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 living in
urban
Correct article usage
an urban
show examples
 area is the ease of access to highly equipped hospitals and medicines. Many
people
Use synonyms
 travel from
countryside
Use synonyms
areas
Use synonyms
 to
cities
Use synonyms
 to get treatment that only big
cities
Use synonyms
 provide.
For example
Linking Words
, Cancer patients require daily monitoring of their health
alongwith
Correct your spelling
along with
chemo
Check wording
chemotherapy
show examples
- radiation therapy
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is only
avaialbe
Correct your spelling
available
 in big
cities
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
, they have to live in
cities
Use synonyms
.
Similarly
Linking Words
 patients that require dialysis can only be treated in
cities
Use synonyms
 owing to have better equippment.The other predominant reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 living in
cities
Use synonyms
to
Verb problem
is to
show examples
 get better
emplyment
Correct your spelling
employment
 with decent wages
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is difficult to find in rural
areas
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 , most of the
countrysides
Fix the agreement mistake
countryside
show examples
areas
Use synonyms
 provide peaceful living
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
cities
Use synonyms
 can't.
For example
Linking Words
, Air quality index in
countryside
Use synonyms
 area or small towns is relatively lower than big
cities
Use synonyms
.
People
Use synonyms
 who live in
countryside
Use synonyms
 have better oxygen level in their bodies because green trees and forests help to clean surrounding environment which
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
 them to inhale less number of toxins.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who live in small towns pay less for their bills and rents
Linking Words
thus
Punctuation problem
, thus
show examples
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 living reasonable. Another perk of living in or near nature is having less noise pollution.
People
Use synonyms
 mostly travel
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
walk
Check wording
foot
show examples
 or
Change preposition
by bike
show examples
bike
Punctuation problem
bike,
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
reduces air and noise pollution.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 there are some drawbacks of living in
cities
Use synonyms
however
Linking Words
, advantages of city life outweigh the disadvantages because urban
areas
Use synonyms
 provide most facilities ranges from health to educational department.

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grammar
Fix small errors in spell and grammar. Use full stops and commas correctly. Try simple, clear sentences.
coherence
Use linking words to move from one idea to the next (first, next, also, but, however). This helps flow.
task response
Make your view clear in the intro and keep it in the end. Decide if cities have more good points and stick to that idea.
content
Give a bit more strong, easy examples to back your points. One example (health care) is good but add another simple one.
content
The writer gives both sides of the topic and tries to argue.
structure
There is an intro and a conclusion in the essay.
content
Keys ideas such as education and health care in cities are used.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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