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Writing Samples
Band 6

The table below shows the number of universities ranked in the top 200 in the world (2011) for three subjects in five countries.

The table below shows the number of universities ranked in the top 200 in the world (2011) for three subjects in five countries.
The table
illustrate
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrates
show examples
 numerous
universities
Use synonyms
 in five
countries
Use synonyms
 which are ranked in the top 200 of the world in 2011 for three subjects:
Biology
Use synonyms
,
Medicine
Use synonyms
 and
Psychology
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Correct article usage
the
show examples
USA have the most
universities
Use synonyms
 in all subjects,
while
Linking Words
 New Zealand
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 the
least numbers
Check wording
fewest
show examples
.
Also
Linking Words
,
psychology
Use synonyms
 and
medicine
Use synonyms
 are popular in many
countries
Use synonyms
 compared with
biology
Use synonyms
. Looking in more detail, in the USA, 69
universities
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 in the top 200 for
biology
Use synonyms
, which was far higher than
other
Change preposition
in other
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
. For
medicine
Use synonyms
 and
psychology
Use synonyms
, the
figure
Fix the agreement mistake
figures
show examples
 were 54 and 58, both much larger
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to the UK
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 had only 30 and 29. Australia and Canada had almost similar.
For example
Linking Words
, in
Use synonyms
biology
Add a comma
biology,
show examples
 they both had 9
universities
Use synonyms
, but in
Use synonyms
medicine
Add a comma
medicine,
show examples
 Canada was slightly higher with 13
compare
Replace the word
compared
show examples
 to 12.
Psychology
Use synonyms
 was
also
Linking Words
 more common in Australia
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 17,
while
Linking Words
 Canada
only
Verb problem
had only
show examples
 14. New Zealand had the lowest numbers in all three subjects. Only 6
universities
Use synonyms
Verb problem
are
show examples
ranked in
biology
Use synonyms
, 2 in
medicine
Use synonyms
, and 4 in
psychology
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
show
Correct subject-verb agreement
shows
show examples
 that New Zealand was far behind other
countries
Use synonyms
 in higher education ranking.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words universities, countries, biology, medicine, psychology with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 3 times.
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