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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The two pie charts below show changes in world population by region between 1910 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The two pie charts below show changes in world population by region between 1910 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The two pie charts
compared
Wrong verb form
compare
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 the
world
Use synonyms
population
Use synonyms
 in 7 different continents from 1910 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, Asia had the
most
Correct word choice
largest
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population
Use synonyms
 in the
world
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 others
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 the
least
Correct word choice
smallest
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population
Use synonyms
 in the
world
Use synonyms
. Over the century, there was
Correct article usage
a sharply
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sharply
Replace the word
sharp
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 increase in
population
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
by
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 about 60
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
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. Africa and Latin America
Use synonyms
population
Check wording
apply
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experienced an upward trend
,
Punctuation problem
;
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on the contrary
Linking Words
, Asian and
Europe
Use the right word
European
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(including
Russia
Use the right word
Russian
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)
had
Check wording
populations had
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 a downward trend. In 1910, Asia accounted for about 60% of
Use synonyms
population
Correct article usage
the population
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 but had
a
Correct article usage
apply
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slightly decreased
Correct word order
decreased slightly
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 to 54% in 2010. Europe(including Russia) had 25% in 1910 and
then
Linking Words
 slightly dropped to about 14% by 2010. North America made up about 5% in ten decades. Others had only 3% of
Use synonyms
world
Correct article usage
the world
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population
Use synonyms
 in 1910 and 2010. A Africa had made up at 4% in
1910
Punctuation problem
1910,
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then
Linking Words
 increased to 10% by 2010. Latin America rose 5% over the centuries.
Middle
Correct article usage
The Middle
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 East and North Africa appeared in 2010 at about 6% of
Use synonyms
world
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
population
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words world, population with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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