IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that advertisements aimed at children should be banned because they have negative effects. Others argue that advertising is necessary and provides useful information. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays,
advertisements
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 have rapidly increased, and they are not controlled. The
effect
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 of
advertisements
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 has a heavy impact on
children
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.
This
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 essay will discuss the
advertisement
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advertising
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effect
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of
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on
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children
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 and clarify my opinion.
Advertisements
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 have a significant impact on
children
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 for various reasons.
Firstly
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,
children
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 are not aware of good and bad advertising.
For example
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, fast food has a harmful
effect
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 on
children
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's bodies
,
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apply
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 because it contains high levels of fats and sugars.
Secondly
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,
children
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 pester their parents to buy items that are advertised on TV, regardless of whether it is beneficial.
For instance
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, games are suitable for the age group +18, not suitable for
children
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 younger than a specific age. We can address the
advertisements
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 and mitigate the
effect
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 on younger people by raising awareness of how to distinguish between suitable and unsuitable advertising.
Moreover
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, catalogues and brochures enable
children
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 to see new products and clarify them with details about
products
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the products
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, so
children
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 can decide whether to buy them or not. In my opinion, I firmly believe that there is no need to advertise products that affect
children
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's health in a detrimental way,
such
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 as junk food.
Also
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, the type of advertisement should be controlled by the company owner to mitigate the negative influence of the advertisement. In conclusion,
Advertisements
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 content can significantly contribute to raising the awareness of
children
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 and mitigate its influence on them.
Advertisements
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 should be controlled by the owner of the channel, resulting a good
advertisements
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 that parents do not worry about
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.

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development
Explain both views clearly and balance them with equal space and good examples.
language
Check grammar and use simple, direct sentences to avoid errors.
structure
Use topic sentences at the start of each paragraph and clear linking words to show how ideas connect.
task response
There is a clear stance at the end.
coherence
You try to give ideas on how to limit ads for children.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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