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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table gives information about Underground Railroad networks in six big cities regarding when they were opened, the size and the number of users annually

The table gives information about Underground Railroad networks in six big cities regarding when they were opened, the size and the number of users annually
The table compares three
Check wording
pieces information
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information of
Correct word order
of information
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metro
Change preposition
about metro
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system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
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 in different cities of the world. The information includes the opening date, the length of rails and the passenger numbers in each
year
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is a comparison of the subway network information in six cities in different developed countries. The subway built in London was the earliest one opened in the six cities. It
also
Linking Words
 has the longest
route
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 and
served
Wrong verb form
serves
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 775 million residents per
year
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, the third most
anual
Correct your spelling
annual
passenger
Fix the agreement mistake
passengers
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 in the table.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the second oldest metro constructed in Paris, which has nearly 200
kilometres
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 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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route
Use synonyms
,
also
Linking Words
 has the second longest
route
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 with nearly 1200
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millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
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 passengers per
year
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. The one which served the most
of
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apply
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individuals
is
Wrong verb form
was
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 built in Tokyo in 1927, with 155
kilometres
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 of
route
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.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
subwas opend
Correct your spelling
subway opened
 in Washington
DC
Punctuation problem
, DC
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 in 1976,
served
Wrong verb form
serving
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 nearly 150
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millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
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of
Change preposition
apply
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citizens with 126
kilometres
Use synonyms
 of rails. The shortest metro was installed in Kyoto in 1981, which has 45
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millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
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 customers each
year
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 with only 11
kilometres
Use synonyms
 of rails. The latest underground railway
is
Wrong verb form
was
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served
Verb problem
opened
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 in 2001,
which served
Wrong verb form
serving
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 half
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
a millions
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millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
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of
Change preposition
apply
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people with 28
killometre
Correct word choice
28-kilometre
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route
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words year, route, kilometres, millions with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 3 times.
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