IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Recently, there has been a statement that the
internet
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 has become more favourable,
whereas
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newspapers
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 are less consumed by society. In my opinion, I strongly agree with
this
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 view as many people prefer to read news from their gadgets rather than paper. The
Internet
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 has the advantage of vast and actual
information
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 with free charges. As we know currently the majority of the public has smartphones equipped with the
internet
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, which enables them to get the latest
information
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 on any aspect,
such
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 as politics, entertainment, or even sports. The article usually comes out directly after the event happens and provides a freshness of content.
Moreover
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, there are many channels that write the same topic, we can choose our channel preferences, whether it is BBC or CNN with no extra money. All of those pieces of
information
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 are free as long as we connect to the
internet
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.
This
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 practicality and easiness will start to completely bury the popularity of
newspapers
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 in the future.
On the other hand
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, some people tend to buy
newspapers
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, especially the elderly. It happens because of the lack of familiarity of
this
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 generation with technology.
However
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, we surely could tackle
this
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 problem by a constant introduction of the
internet
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 to the old people. There have been many of them who are able to operate gadgets for a video call with their grandson, it is safe to say that mastering on
internet
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 is just a problem of time. Other than that, some of the cities
also
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 already stopped the distribution of
newspapers
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 because of the costs. The publishers have to pay the workers to only distribute the paper and it takes a lot of time for the production process.
For instance
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, my grandmother ever said that in her isolated city, the newspaper boy came one day after the actual date.
This
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 is
in contrast
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 with what the
internet
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 offers to us, which is updated
information
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. In conclusion, I believe that
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Internet
Correct article usage
the Internet
show examples
 will replace the existence of
newspapers
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 as the main source of news in the near future.
This
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 happens
due to
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 the benefits given by the
internet
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 are beyond the
newspapers
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 in terms of actuality, price, and media options.

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task achievement
The essay presents a clear position and supports it with relevant examples and arguments. However, providing more diverse examples would strengthen the task response further.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, ensure that every paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. In your essay, there are sometimes abrupt jumps between points.
coherence cohesion
Efforts should be made to avoid repetitive phrases and expand the range of vocabulary and expressions used. This will enhance the readability and overall impact of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and provide a strong framework for the essay.
coherence cohesion
The arguments are logically structured and you present a balanced view by considering both sides of the issue.
task achievement
Specific examples, such as the one involving your grandmother, add authenticity and relevance to your points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Access
  • Convenient
  • Fast
  • Expensive
  • Wider range
  • News sources
  • Perspectives
  • Readership
  • Demographics
  • Physical
  • Tangible
  • Reading experience
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