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Writing Samples
Band 4

The diagram below shows how ethanol fuel is produced from corn. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows how ethanol fuel is produced from corn. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
Ethanol
Use synonyms
 is a
substances
Fix the agreement mistake
substance
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 that could be produced from
corn
Use synonyms
 through a set of
Use synonyms
process
Fix the agreement mistake
processes
show examples
.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
corn
Use synonyms
 is stored and milled
first
Rephrase
apply
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before it
was
Wrong verb form
is
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 cooked using water for about four
hours
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. After four
hours
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 have passed, the cooked
corn
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were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 fermented roughly for 48
hours
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 to let the cooked
corn
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 simmer and ferment before the separation
process
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 begins.
Linking Words
This
Fix the agreement mistake
These
show examples
 steps
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 important
knowing
Punctuation problem
, knowing
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 that fermentation often produces alcohol as the side
product
Use the right word
byproduct
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 during
fermentation
Correct article usage
the fermentation
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process
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 in
this
Linking Words
 case, the
corn
Use synonyms
 would produce
ethanol
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
. After being fermented, the fermented
corn
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 would be separated.
Linking Words
this
Fix capitalization
This
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 separation
process
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 involves separating the liquid produced by
corn
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 in
this
Linking Words
 case is
ethanol
Use synonyms
from
Punctuation problem
, from
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it's
Use the right word
its
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 solid
corn
Use synonyms
 flesh.
This
Linking Words
process
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 is important for the extraction of
ethanol
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 from the
corn
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.
Although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 after the separation
process
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, the
ethanol
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 would still be impure and need to be purified for
atlest
Correct your spelling
at least
 5
hours
Use synonyms
 before it could be stored and transported.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words ethanol, corn, process, hours with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ethanol
  • corn
  • harvesting
  • milling
  • cooking
  • fermentation
  • distillation
  • dehydration
  • enzymes
  • fermentable sugars
  • concentration
  • anhydrous ethanol
  • fuel
  • processed
  • mixture
  • yeast
  • carbon dioxide
  • high temperatures
  • surface area
  • separation
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