IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Some people believe that children of all ages should have extra responsibilities (for example, helping at home or at work). Others believe that, outside of school, children should be free to enjoy their lives. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many people believe that outside of school, young ones should be free to enjoy their lives because it is the only time they
be
Wrong verb form
are
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 allowed not to have responsibility.
Linking Words
while
Fix capitalization
While
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 I like many people subscribe to the notion that boys and girls should take up extra responsibility because
this
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 helps them build
decipline
Correct your spelling
discipline
 in them. On the one hand, some people
view
Verb problem
believe
show examples
 that children should be allowed to be free and enjoy their lives outside school
activitities
Correct your spelling
activities
.
For example
Linking Words
, watching television is one way of allowing kids to enjoy themselves.Other ways include
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 playing games , going to the park and
play
Wrong verb form
playing
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 outside with friends.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, many kids
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 are trained to have responsibility tend to develop fundamental principles of
decipline
Correct your spelling
discipline
.
For instance
Linking Words
, a boy or a girl learning to clean their room, wash the car, clean the kitchen and clean the sitting room benefits from
this
Linking Words
 routine as they become adults.The
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
 include
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 being
organised
Correct article usage
an organised
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 and hygienic individual. In conclusion, it is detrimental for a child to only play and not learn
responsiblities
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
 that build
character
Correct article usage
the character
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 of a child.The more we teach children responsibilities, the more they thrive being great citizens of the country.

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planning
Plan your essay. Write what you want to say in 2 or 3 big ideas, and add one example for each.
structure
Use a clear start for each paragraph. A topic sentence helps show your point.
grammar
Check small grammar and spell words the right way. Use plain and easy words.
content
The essay shows both sides of the view.
content
You give some example to show your point.
perspective
You make your own view clear at the end.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • extra responsibilities
  • develop skills
  • life lessons
  • work ethic
  • sense of responsibility
  • contribute to
  • family
  • community
  • playtime
  • physical development
  • mental development
  • balance
  • enjoyment
  • guide
  • childhood
What to do next:
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