IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

how the community services are essential for the societ to what extent you agree or disagree.

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Community
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service
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 has become a widely debated topic in recent years, as it is seen as essential for the well-being of
society
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. Many
people
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 argue that activities like volunteering for
charity
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a charity
the charity
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, improving local
neighborhoods
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neighbourhoods
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, or teaching sports to younger children should be encouraged. I fully support
this
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 view, and in the following paragraphs, I will explain why
community
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service
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 is of great importance.
Firstly
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,
community
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service
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 fosters a sense of responsibility and selflessness in young
people
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, who will eventually become the leaders of
society
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. High school
students
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, who will soon enter various professional fields, must learn the value of giving back to their communities.
For example
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, countries that
instill
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instil
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 the habit of charity in
students
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 at an early age tend to produce more civic-minded individuals. These
people
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 prioritize societal welfare over personal gain, resulting in a more cohesive and altruistic
society
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.
Moreover
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,
community
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service
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 allows
students
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 to discover and nurture their hidden talents. If a student shows an interest in sports,
for instance
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, and is provided with opportunities to coach or mentor younger children, they may develop skills and confidence that would have remained untapped in a purely academic environment. Schools that organize
such
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 activities help young
people
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 excel in areas beyond the classroom, potentially fostering future professionals who are passionate about their fields.
In addition
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,
while
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 some may argue that
students
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 should focus solely on academic subjects, I believe that
community
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service
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 offers invaluable life lessons that complement formal education. Through involvement in
community
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 work,
students
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 gain firsthand experience with real-world problems and learn how their future professions can help address these issues.
This
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 practical understanding enhances their ability to make meaningful contributions to
society
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 once they enter the workforce. In conclusion,
community
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service
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 should be an integral part of education. When
students
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 are encouraged to participate in charitable activities, they not only contribute to
society
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 but
also
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 develop a sense of social responsibility that will benefit them in their personal and professional lives.
For instance
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, doctors who are taught the value of
community
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service
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 during their education often volunteer their time to treat disadvantaged patients later in their careers. By fostering these values early on, we can cultivate a
society
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 where
people
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 are dedicated to the greater good, which ultimately leads to significant social improvements.

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task achievement
In the paragraph discussing how community service nurtures talents, consider providing a more specific example or evidence to strengthen your point.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph clearly connects back to the main thesis that community service is essential for society, enhancing the logical flow and reinforcement of your argument.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly states your opinion and outlines the structure of your argument, setting a strong foundation for the essay.
task achievement
You provide a comprehensive response to the task by addressing multiple aspects of how community service benefits society, such as developing responsibility and uncovering talents.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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