IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Governments give a lot of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been used elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Government
Use synonyms
 funding for supporting artists has become a growing concern across numerous nations globally.
While
Linking Words
 some people argue that art funding
offer
Correct subject-verb agreement
offers
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 important
beneficial
Replace the word
benefits
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, including economic growth and cultural
preservations
Fix the agreement mistake
preservation
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, others believe that
government
Use synonyms
 budgets should be spent on more essential
services
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will examine both sides and argue that
arts
Use synonyms
 funding is beneficial for society, but essential
services
Use synonyms
 must
prioritize
Wrong verb form
be prioritised
show examples
 in public budgets.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, supporters of
arts
Use synonyms
 funding argue that
this
Linking Words
 support can positively affect economic growth. The main advantage is tourism development, which creates jobs and generates revenue for
local
Correct article usage
the local
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 community. Famous
artist
Fix the agreement mistake
artists
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 and cultural institutions can potentially attract plenty
Change preposition
of visitors
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visitors
Punctuation problem
visitors,
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 both local and international tourists.
As a result
Linking Words
, increasing the number of tourists will boost local economies.
For example
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, the museum Fatahillah in
old
Correct article usage
the old
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 city of Jakarta receives over 5 million visitors annually, contributing millions
rupiah
Change preposition
of rupiah
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 to
Jakarta’
Check wording
Jakarta’s
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 economy through hotel bookings, restaurant sales, and local shopping.
In addition
Linking Words
, art programs facilitate
preservation
Correct article usage
the preservation
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 of cultural heritage for future generations.
However
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, these advantages are meaningful when basic social needs are already
eduquately
Correct your spelling
adequately
 met.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, critics argue that
government
Use synonyms
 money should
prioritize
Use the right word
prioritise
show examples
 essential
services
Use synonyms
 like healthcare, education, and infrastructure because these areas have
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
directly
Replace the word
direct
show examples
 impact on people’s daily well-being and basic needs.
For instance
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, many developing countries still struggle to provide basic medical care and primary education for their citizens. In these situations,
arts
Use synonyms
 funding appears less urgent compared to providing medical
services
Use synonyms
 or primary education programs. In my opinion,
this
Linking Words
 view has strong merit, especially when public resources are limited and citizens lack basic
services
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
arts
Use synonyms
 funding provides several benefits
such
Linking Words
 as enhanced economic growth and heritage
preservations
Fix the agreement mistake
preservation
show examples
, basic public
services
Use synonyms
 remain essential for
people
Check wording
people's
show examples
 well-being. Considering
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
my perspective,
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should ensure that fundamental needs receive adequate funding first.

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task response
Make your view clear from the start and keep it in each part. State your main point in the intro and repeat it in the end.
coherence
Link ideas with clear chunks. Use short sentences. Use words like also, but, however to show the move from one idea to the next.
grammar accuracy
Check spelling and form. Fix words like eduquately, rupiah, and Jakarta's. Use standard grammar.
organization
Follow a simple map: intro, 2 body paragraphs, and a short conclusion. Each paragraph has one main idea.
lexical
Use easy words. Do not use hard or long words. This helps your score in vocabulary.
content
The essay tries to cover both sides of a big issue.
support
An example is used to back a point about money and culture.
structure
A view is given at the end to show your stance.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • promote
  • culture
  • creativity
  • economic growth
  • tourism
  • social development
  • personal development
  • merit
  • financial support
  • balanced
  • transparent
What to do next:
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