IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph shows the number of people who used different communication services in the world.

The line graph shows the number of people who used different communication services in the world.
The chart compares how many people communicated in different services ( cellular
service
Use synonyms
 and fixed broadband ) between 1998 and 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 services ( landline
service
Use synonyms
, internet
service
Use synonyms
 and fixed
broadboard
Correct your spelling
broadband
service
Use synonyms
 ) increased or decreased
steadly
Correct your spelling
steadily
 in the time period.
However
Linking Words
, cellular phone
service
Use synonyms
 was the most famous one. As a graph shows, in 1998, landline
service
Use synonyms
used
Verb problem
was used
show examples
 by 15,000 people
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1998, but it experienced
very
Correct article usage
a very
show examples
 small increase to around 16,000 in 2008. In terms of internet
service
Use synonyms
, in 1993, only 5,000 people used
this
Linking Words
.
However
Linking Words
, there was a slight go up to 20,000 by 2008. Regarding
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the landline
service
Use synonyms
, it witnessed
leveled
Wrong verb form
a levelling
show examples
 off at 0
user
Fix the agreement mistake
users
show examples
 in 1998, 2000, 2002 and in 2004 until there was a
stead
Use the right word
steady
show examples
go up
Verb problem
increase
show examples
 to about 5,000 in 2008.
According to
Linking Words
 the users of fixed
brodband
Correct your spelling
broadband
service
Use synonyms
, they used that
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
type of communication
service
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
0 times in 1998, 2000 and
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2002, respectively. After that,
this
Linking Words
 figure grew
steadly
Correct your spelling
steadily
 to around 5,000 in 2008.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the total count of phone
service
Use synonyms
 users was 5,000 in 1993.
Otherwise
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 rate climbed rapidly to 60,000 by 2008.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words service with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "go up" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • communication services
  • overall trend
  • significant increase/decrease
  • traditional vs. modern
  • technological advancements
  • regional disparities
  • adoption and usage
  • future predictions
  • sociopolitical events
  • altering usage patterns
  • detailed analysis
  • popularity
  • emphasize
  • demonstrate
  • surpass
  • overshadow
  • implications
  • innovation
  • transition
  • dominance
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