IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below gives information about computer possession by household in one European country between 1997 and 2011

The graph below gives information about computer possession by household in one European country between 1997 and 2011
The line chart shows how many computers were used per house in per cent from 1997 to 2011
Overall
Linking Words
, each section experienced different trends in the time period.
While
Linking Words
 non-computer
houses
Use synonyms
 % fell over time, two and
three-computered
Correct your spelling
three-computer
houses
Use synonyms
grow
Wrong verb form
grew
show examples
 gradually.
By contrast
Linking Words
, one-computer
houses
Use synonyms
 faced no change. As the graph shows, no-computer homes started the
figure
Use synonyms
 at just over 45% in 1997, followed by a gradual decrease each year, and finishing at almost 25% in 2011. Regarding
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 double-computered apartments, there were about 5% of them in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 country.
This
Linking Words
figure
Use synonyms
 experienced
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
growth and finished at just under 30% in 2011.
By contrast
Linking Words
, triple-computered flats witnessed a steady rise. Starting from 0% in 1997,
Use synonyms
figure
Correct article usage
the figure
show examples
 experienced a growth and finished at 10% in 2011. At the same time, single-computered
houses
Use synonyms
 started the
figure
Use synonyms
 at 45% in 1997, and levelled off
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
 whole period. That means that it ended at 45% in 2011.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "by contrast".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words houses, figure with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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