Write a letter to local authorities by requesting additional sports facilities for your age group in your area. Mention about the current sport facilities available What kind of additional sports facilities should be introduced *How the new sports facilities would be a help for the people in your age group

#authorities #sports #facilities #age #group #area #*mention #sport #*what #*how #help #people

Dear Sir, I am Tanya Luthra from Saharanpur, India. I am working at Deloitte and live in the Govind Nagar Society near landmark SAM College. I am writing

this

letter to request you to add some new

games

Fix the agreement mistake

game

show examples

facilities for the people of

this

area. Presently, there are many

sports

facilities available in the town

such

as cricket, basketball and football in the

sports

complex club.

However

, I have observed there are no

sports

facilities available during the evening hours where people of my age can enjoy games. Near the sport complex club there is a small ground which is empty and I think that ground can be leveraged to introduce new indoor

sports

such

as table tennis, lawn tennis and swimming.

This

would not only benefit the people of my age group but

also

the younger children

Change preposition

show examples

this

area.

Such

a place is much needed which will not only help us to learn some new

sports

but

also

involve some physical activities which will be beneficial for our health. Hoping for a careful consideration of

this

suggestion! Yours faithfully, Tanya

Submitted by TANULUTHRA95 on Fri Jan 12 2024

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Task Achievement

To improve task response, ensure that all aspects of the letter's purpose are fully developed, providing more specific information and examples.

Coherence and Cohesion

In terms of coherence and cohesion, use a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing to manage the organization of your ideas more effectively.

Greeting and Closing

For a better greeting and closing, maintain the formal tone consistently throughout the letter. Though polite, the introduction and conclusion could be more aligned with the formal register expected in this context.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

182 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Some young people look forward to a year of travelling, a ‘gap year’, before they begin work or university and see it as a chance to broaden their horizons. For others this is an expensive waste of time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In some countries the percentage of 15 year-olds in the population is already significant and is continuing to grow. Are there more advantages or disadvantages to this trend?

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What are the disadvantages of being self-employed?