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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart shows the average number of hours each day that Chinese, American, Turkish and Brazilian tourists spent doing leisure activities while on holiday in Greece in August 2019.

The bar chart provides data regarding the average duration of daily leisure activities performed by
tourists
Use synonyms
 from four specific countries
while
Linking Words
 they were on holiday in Greece in August 2019.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the most popular activities among
tourists
Use synonyms
 were reading books and spending
time
Use synonyms
 at the beach. It is
also
Linking Words
 evident that visiting
places
Use synonyms
 was the least common type of spending leisure
time
Use synonyms
 on holiday. Focusing first on those spending the longest
time
Use synonyms
 reading books, Chinese
tourists
Use synonyms
 did
this
Linking Words
 for 8
hours
Use synonyms
 every day,
whereas
Linking Words
 only 1 hour was dedicated to visiting
places
Use synonyms
. As for Americans, they spent 5
hours
Use synonyms
 on reading, which was 2
hours
Use synonyms
 longer than the
time
Use synonyms
 for visiting
places
Use synonyms
. Notably, between 4 and 5
hours
Use synonyms
 were devoted by both nationalities to spending
time
Use synonyms
 at the beach. Turning to those visitors preferring staying by the sea most of the
time
Use synonyms
, Brazilian
tourists
Use synonyms
 spent 6
hours
Use synonyms
 at
this
Linking Words
 place,
whereas
Linking Words
 those from Turkey relaxed there for 1 hour fewer. Just 2 and 3
hours
Use synonyms
, respectively, they dedicated to visiting
places
Use synonyms
. Reading books was equally popular among these
tourists
Use synonyms
, with 4
hours
Use synonyms
 spent on
this
Linking Words
 activity.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words tourists, time, places, hours with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • average number
  • leisure activities
  • tourists
  • nationalities
  • cultural trends
  • interests
  • vacation
  • influence
  • participation
  • impact
  • weather
  • events
  • festivals
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