IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

It is a natural process that animal species such as dinosaurs become extinct. There is no reason for people to prevent this from happening. Do you agree or disagree?

Many people believe that the
extinction
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 of
animals
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 like dinosaurs is part of the usual life on Earth. We should not try to stop
this
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 natural process. From my perspective, I completely disagree with
this
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 idea.
To begin
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 with, it has been three centuries since the "choice
theory
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" was proposed. There is a simple sentence to summarise
this
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theory
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. A better and powerful group will live , and a weaker one will die.
This
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theory
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 reminds us that the
extinction
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 of
animals
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 is not too weird. To illustrate, there were a lot of different groups of monkeys in some references , more than one hundred , but nowadays there are only 10 different groups
due to
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 natural selection ; only the best will survive.
However
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, the vital problem with
extinction
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 is that in the current situation of the world, it is not because of natural selection
theory
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 , but rather because of human activities. First of all, all
animals
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 have the right to live safely. But our activities like farming and mining destroy their habitat. Food shortage is the first sign of
this
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 distraction.
For example
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, in Urmia city in West-Azarbyjan in north west of Iran, mining activities destroyed a huge part of the natural vegetation and a lot of
animals
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 like rabbits are on the verge of
extinction
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.
Moreover
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, these
animals
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 are the beauty of the globe and
also
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 a heritage for the next generation. Our children have the right to see these
animals
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 in reality, not just in books. There are a lot of
animals
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 we want to see in reality , but they have gone.
For instance
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, white tigers became extinct
last
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 year, and there are no white tigers on Earth. If we or our children want to see them. There is only a picture of them in books. In conclusion,
although
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extinction
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 is a natural process in the world, we should prevent accelerating it by mining and farming in natural habitats. because they have the right to live like us , and
also
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 they are a heritage from the
last
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 generation to the next one.

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planning
Plan your writing. Make 3 main ideas and show how each one backs your view.
grammar
Use simple, clear sentences. Check the verb and noun form.
fact-check
Use facts you can trust. If you cite a place, spell it right.
coherence
Use linking words to show how ideas fit together and keep your flow.
stance
You take a clear view and oppose the prompt.
content
You give some reasons to back your view.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • extinction
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem
  • natural selection
  • evolution
  • environmental changes
  • endangered species
  • conservation
  • habitat destruction
  • ecological balance
  • genetic diversity
  • responsibility
  • accelerate
  • species adaptation
  • butterfly effect
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