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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some schools leavers travel or work for a period of time instead of going directly to university. Do the advantages of this for their study outweigh the disadvantages?

After graduating from school, some students choose to take a
gap
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year
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 to travel and work rather than immediately applying to university. They do
this
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 in order to explore their interests and gain a clearer sense of direction in
life
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. Personally, I believe that the
overall
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 benefits of
this
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 trend outweigh the disadvantages, as it provides valuable
life
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 experience, broadens perspectives, and fosters greater maturity, all of which can enhance future academic performance. One significant advantage of taking a
gap
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year
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 is the opportunity to gain real-world experience. Young people who choose to work during
this
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 time can develop essential
life
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 skills
such
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 as time management, responsibility, and financial independence—skills that are often not taught in a traditional classroom setting.
Moreover
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, travelling to different parts of the world allows them to learn about diverse cultures and customs, which not only enhances their global awareness but
also
Linking Words
 makes them more open-minded and adaptable.
As a result
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, these individuals often return to academic
life
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 with a more mature outlook and a clearer sense of purpose, which can positively impact their university studies.
Nonetheless
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, there are potential drawbacks to delaying higher education. Some students may struggle to return to academic
life
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 after a
year
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 away from formal education, having lost the study habits and motivation they once had.
Additionally
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, those who begin working may become accustomed to earning money and may choose to continue working rather than pursuing
further
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 education.
This
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 could lead to them foregoing university altogether, which might limit their long-term career prospects. In conclusion,
although
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 taking a
gap
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year
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 poses some risks, particularly regarding the loss of academic momentum, I believe the advantages—
such
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 as personal development, acquisition of
life
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 skills, and increased readiness for university—far outweigh the disadvantages. With the right mindset and planning, a
gap
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year
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 can be a transformative experience that ultimately supports academic and professional success.

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task response
Your essay has a clear view and a good start. To push the score up, add one or two exact, simple facts as proof.
task response
Answer all parts of the task. Add a short line at the end to show your view clearly.
coherence cohesion
Make the flow easy. Use linking words to join ideas, like first, also, but, so.
coherence cohesion
Give a short example in each part. Simple facts or names of place or thing can help.
strength
Clear view and stance on the topic.
organization
Good structure with a clear intro, body, and conclusion.
content
Ideas are supported by examples.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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