IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

The provided chart illustrates the percentage of age of visitors from the UK to Spain in 1983 and in 2003.

The provided chart illustrates the percentage of age of visitors from the UK to Spain in 1983 and in 2003.
The pie chart compares the data on the age of travellers from the UK to
Spain
Use synonyms
 in 1983 and 2003.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Spain
Use synonyms
 was mostly visited by travellers who are between 35-54 age,
while
Linking Words
 visitors who are 15
years
Use synonyms
 old or under
this
Linking Words
 age travelled to
Spain
Use synonyms
 less than others. As the chart shows, in 1983, 50% UK residents who were aged 35-54
years
Use synonyms
 moved to
Spain
Use synonyms
 for travel purposes;
however
Linking Words
, in 2003,
this
Linking Words
 percentage was only 35%.
Additionally
Linking Words
, middle-aged holidaymakers who are at 25-34 travelled to
Spain
Use synonyms
 with 12% in 2003, which is 8% lower than in 1983. In 1983, children who were 15
years
Use synonyms
 or under visited
Spain
Use synonyms
 with just 10% and
this
Linking Words
 index showed a slight increase to just 12% in 2003.
Also
Linking Words
, people who are 16-24
years
Use synonyms
 old moved to
Spain
Use synonyms
 with only 4% of the total number of guests, but surprisingly,
this
Linking Words
 figure significantly went up to 15% in 2003.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words spain, years with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "moved" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: