Some people think that spending a lot on holding wedding parties, birthday parties and other celebrations is just a waste of money. Otherhowever, think that there are necessary for individuals and the society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.s,

In recent years, investing in special

occations

Correct your spelling

occasions

such

Linking Words

wedding

Correct article usage

a wedding

show examples

ceremony,

birthday

Correct article usage

a birthday

show examples

party

Punctuation problem

, or

show examples

others is increasingly controversial. Some

people

Use synonyms

believe that it is

Rephrase

not unworth

show examples

unworth

Replace the word

worth

show examples

Use synonyms

money

Correct article usage

the money

show examples

while

Linking Words

others still prioritise those

events

Use synonyms

as necessary. In

this

Linking Words

essay

Add a comma

essay,

show examples

I will examine both views and provide my perspective. On the one hand, some

people

Use synonyms

think that

money

Use synonyms

should be spent on something that seems more important than celebrating

parties

Use synonyms

. The major reason is

becuase

Correct your spelling

because

those

parties

Use synonyms

consume

huge

Correct article usage

a huge

show examples

amount of

money

Use synonyms

, time and energy with

unpredicted

Replace the word

unpredictable

show examples

or no return.

In addition

Linking Words

organizing

Use the right word

organising

show examples

parties

Use synonyms

could lead to other problems which no one

intent

Replace the word

intends

show examples

to happen.

For example

Linking Words

, in my country, there is

engagement

Correct article usage

an engagement

show examples

ceremony which

require

Correct subject-verb agreement

requires

show examples

a becoming groom

pay

Verb problem

to pay

show examples

for

marriage

Correct article usage

the marriage

show examples

insurance for a becoming bride' parents, resulting in gender equality issues.

Therefore

Linking Words

, many

people

Use synonyms

try to spend

money

Use synonyms

on those

occations

Correct your spelling

occasions

because not only no return tangible benefit

Change preposition

show examples

other

investment

Fix the agreement mistake

investments

show examples

, but

also

Linking Words

they could result in

relationship

Correct article usage

a relationship

show examples

On the other hand

Linking Words

, other

people

Use synonyms

do not hesitate to

funding

Wrong verb form

fund

show examples

those special

occations

Correct your spelling

occasions

. When

people

Use synonyms

have something to celebrate, their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

have more memorable experiences and

this

Linking Words

could entertain

themselves

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

Thus

Linking Words

parties

Use synonyms

make

people

Use synonyms

feel joyful and cause

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

better mental health.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the special

events

Use synonyms

can be a great

oppotunity

Correct your spelling

opportunity

where families or friends are gathered together.

Consuquently

Correct your spelling

Consequently

, the

events

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

create

connection

Correct article usage

a connection

show examples

between

people

Use synonyms

because they would have a conversation and share

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

experience together.

Lastly

Linking Words

, socialising can enhance social skills that prevent depression in some

case

Fix the agreement mistake

cases

show examples

espacially

Correct your spelling

especially

extrovert

Replace the word

extroverted

show examples

people

Use synonyms

who need to connect to others. In conclusion,

while

Linking Words

arranging ceremonies could be

waste

Correct article usage

a waste

show examples

money

Use synonyms

since they

couldnot

Verb problem

cannot

show examples

make

financial

Correct article usage

a financial

show examples

return and ruin some

relationship

Fix the agreement mistake

relationships

show examples

some time

Use the right word

sometimes

show examples

, they

also

Linking Words

develop mental health,

strenghten

Correct your spelling

strengthen

relation

Replace the word

relationships

show examples

in some cases. I believe that those ceremonies could create

meaningful

Correct article usage

a meaningful

show examples

life of

mind

Correct article usage

the mind

show examples

because those

events

Use synonyms

have to be devoted

strong

Change preposition

to strong

show examples

effort to

organize

Use the right word

organise

show examples

toroughly

Correct your spelling

thoroughly

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

the attendees experience special

tratment

Correct your spelling

treatment

However

Linking Words

, it is

also

Linking Words

important to balance

budget

Correct article usage

the budget

show examples

in order to prevent financial

shortage

Fix the agreement mistake

shortages

show examples

in the future.

s.sasirinavin

Aug 21, 2025

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Task Response

Be clear about your own view in the final paragraph and link it to the points you make.

Task Response

Give more real and specific examples to back up each idea.

Coherence

Use topic sentences to start each paragraph and keep ideas linked with simple connecting words.

Coherence

Avoid long, unclear sentences; break up ideas into short, clear sentences.

Structure

The essay uses a two sides approach with clear 'on the one hand' and 'on the other hand'.

Content

There is an introduction and a conclusion that frame the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
49
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

334 words

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Some people think that spending a lot on holding wedding parties, birthday parties and other celebrations is just a waste of money. Otherhowever, think that there are necessary for individuals and the society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.s,

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

People in the are not fit and active. What are the problems of this issue? What can be done to encourage people to participate in sports activities?

An old friend is coming to town and has invited you to go to the cinema. Write to your friend. In your letter • Explain that you are unable to come • Find out how long your friend is staying in town • Arrange a suitable time to meet

Students should pay the full cost for their own study, because universities education benefits individuals rather than study. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.