Does Internet need to be controlled by the government?

While
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some argue the Internet should be restricted by governments, others believe it must remain free. The net was invented to be utilised globally, regardless of the user's age or race.
Consequently
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, in my opinion, there must be a balance when applying these rules. First of all, laws should be defined to ensure a convenient, secure life for the locals. It enables processes
such
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as shopping or payment to be done at a much faster pace. In England,
for example
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, the state provides digital freedom for the citizens, creating a virtual place that can ease their decisions.
Furthermore
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, by enforcing strict regulations, the number of crimes and rebellions can be reduced. And, so prevents any fraud or illegal actions.
Thus
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, both the authorities and inhabitants benefit from these measures by limiting web access and usage through Internet Protocol (IP) banning or confining accessibility to some pages. In many European countries, filtering is used to control youngsters from viewing sensitive and obscene content.
Moreover
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, in Russia, censorship is used to prevent cybercrimes like hacking or violations, even though these acts have an influence on residents' social life.
In contrast
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, regimes could overstep the limitations that affect the efficiency of online procedures. And,
therefore
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, make the individuals suffer.
Nevertheless
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, the laws vary in each territory. In some countries, cyber censorship has significantly impacted people's lives, making it difficult for them to use
this
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platform. Lacking connections or being prohibited by some sites are examples of
this
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purpose.
Additionally
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, online shopping applications like Amazon are inaccessible, which slows economic growth and frustrates customers. In other nations like Iraq and Iran, users are being deprived of cutting-edge technologies, making them face some hardships.
As a result
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, virtual private networks are employed to let them bypass constraints. Chinese and North Koreans are not even allowed to search on the Internet, let alone use it.
However
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, the ministries have implemented internal systems based on the latest trends. In conclusion, restrictions can be beneficial yet detrimental, depending on the level of restraint. Moderate government control is essential, provided alternatives are offered to maintain user convenience.

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task response
State your view in the first line and keep your main reason in mind. Build a small plan for your essay and stick to it.
coherence
Make one idea in each paragraph. Start with a short line that tells what that para is about. Use simple connect words like first, also, but, so, then.
style
Use easy words and short sentences. Check your grammar and look for long, tricky phrases. End with a short, clear conclusion.
strength
The writing shows a clear view and covers both sides.
strength
The essay uses real places as examples to back ideas.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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