IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In the recent years, television has contributed the most to changing people’s quality of life. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that watching
television
Use synonyms
had
Wrong verb form
has
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significant
Correct article usage
a significant
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impact
Use synonyms
 on
individual's
Correct article usage
an individual's
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 quality of
life
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
 I concur that
television
Use synonyms
 had
enormous
Correct article usage
an enormous
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 effect on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society, I think many
people
Use synonyms
 had no changes in their facets of
life
Use synonyms
. At the outset, one of the major contributions that modern televisions
had
Verb problem
have had
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 on
people
Use synonyms
's
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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 is
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 the ability to know different cultures and
individuals
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.
This
Linking Words
 is because
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 anyone
in
Change preposition
on
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 the planet can be shown on the screen, and
he
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 can express
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 thoughts,
as well as
Linking Words
showing
Wrong verb form
show
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 humans the place
he
Correct pronoun usage
they
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lives
Correct subject-verb agreement
live
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 in. The result is,
individuals
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 going to be introduced to different cultures and human beings. To give an illustration, if
people
Use synonyms
 had not bought a
television
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, they would not have known John Stewart. The more time
individuals
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 spend on
television
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, the greater the
impact
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 on their lives. In sharp contrast to
this
Linking Words
, one of the main arguments against
this
Linking Words
 claim is that
significant
Correct article usage
a significant
show examples
amount
Check wording
number
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 of
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to spend their leisure time
in
Change preposition
apply
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performing different physical activities. The reason for
this
Linking Words
 is, many
individuals
Use synonyms
 believe that sitting in the house
while
Linking Words
 watching
screen
Correct article usage
the screen
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 is
Correct article usage
an erronous
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erronous
Correct your spelling
erroneous
 practice, and it will have
detrimental
Correct article usage
a detrimental
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 effect on their social
life
Use synonyms
, so they like to perform another kind of activity.
This
Linking Words
 will lead to
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 humans
will have
Wrong verb form
having
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 less
impact
Use synonyms
 on their quality of
life
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, and
television
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 is not going to play an important role in their daily activities.
To conclude
Linking Words
, even though watching modern screens
play
Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
show examples
significant
Correct article usage
a significant
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 role in many
people
Use synonyms
's lives, other
individuals
Use synonyms
 do not have
this
Linking Words
impact
Use synonyms
 on their way of living.

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task response
State your view clearly at the start and keep it till the end.
coherence
Plan your paragraph in a clear way. One main idea per paragraph with a link to your view.
grammar
Check grammar, like subject-verb form and word choice, to fix simple errors.
task response
Use real examples that fit your point and are easy to see.
coherence
Use linking words to show flow, such as 'on one hand' and 'in conclusion'.
lexical resource
Use safe, common words and avoid hard form or rare words.
structure
Finish with a short, clear conclusion that repeats your view.
content
You write about both sides of the idea.
structure
Paragraphs exist and a few linking words are used.
coherence
Some good, simple ideas are seen.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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