IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that the government should provide funding for arts . Others, however, believe that the money should be spend public health and education. Discuss both view and give you are own opinion.

Although
Linking Words
 Many individuals argue that the officials must prioritise spending on the arts, other
people
Use synonyms
 assert that the authority should focus its spending on the
nation
Use synonyms
's wellbeing and
education
Use synonyms
. I completely believe that the officials have to allocate more money for
people
Use synonyms
's
health
Use synonyms
 and
education
Use synonyms
. At the outset, one of the main reasons why some individuals think that the authority should spend more money on the arts is that it is essential for the community to preserve its own heritage and pass it to the next generations. The reason for
this
Linking Words
 is that art is a powerful tool that can portray the
nation
Use synonyms
's culture.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, drawing and plays can deliver the information about
people
Use synonyms
's culture efficiently
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
show examples
 other methods do not have
this
Linking Words
 ability.
For example
Linking Words
, if the Romans had not published their renowned literature, we would not have known much about their culture. In my opinion, the regime must
center
Use the right word
centre
show examples
capital spending on
people
Use synonyms
's well-being and
education
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is because a
nation
Use synonyms
's well-being and level of schooling are a cornerstone in maintaining a flourished
nation
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, prioritising persons' wellbeing can build a sense of trust between individuals and their executives, and neglecting
health
Use synonyms
 can have a detrimental effect on
this
Linking Words
 paramount relationship. To give an illustration, when
Egyptian
Correct article usage
the Egyptian
show examples
 government decided to reduce allocations for
health
Use synonyms
 in 1956, an outbreak of influenza spread all over the country, and that outbreak caused a deterioration in all aspects of life.
To conclude
Linking Words
, even though many human beings believe that the authority should focus on spending money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 art, I concur that the officials must prioritise
people
Use synonyms
's
health
Use synonyms
 and
education
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 focus will have a significant positive impact on nations.

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task
State your view clearly in the intro and keep it in mind through the essay.
task
Give strong, simple reasons for each point and tie them to your view.
coherence
Make sure each paragraph links to the next with simple linking words.
coherence
Use more clear links to show order and progression between ideas.
language
Use shorter sentences and common words to help clarity.
idea
You state your view and try to back it up.
structure
There is a clear structure with intro, body, and conclusion.
language
You use some examples to illustrate points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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