IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many say that competitiveness is good. What effects it has? and is a positive or a negative step.

Some people believe that
competitiveness
Use synonyms
 is good to motivate individuals as it encourages people and
society
Use synonyms
 to do better for their future.
While
Linking Words
competitiveness
Use synonyms
 can lead to improvement in
productivty
Correct your spelling
productivity
 and personal growth, it may cause distress in
society
Use synonyms
 by
increaseing
Correct your spelling
increasing
 rivalry. I personally believe that healthy competition
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
 positive effects that outweigh its disadvantages. On one hand,
competitiveness
Use synonyms
encourage
Correct subject-verb agreement
encourages
show examples
 individuals to do better and create good results.
For example
Linking Words
, when students are allowed to compete with one another, they start to push themselves to do more
Linking Words
Thus
Punctuation problem
. Thus
show examples
, positive results come up.
Similarly
Linking Words
, when a healthy competition is set among different companies, every single company start to produce good results
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 eventually
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
 happiness and stability in the
society
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, when
individulas
Correct your spelling
individuals
 are subjected
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unhealthy competition, they force themselves beyond their limits
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
end
Correct subject-verb agreement
ends
show examples
 up in depression and more failures.
For example
Linking Words
, if an ordinary student is tested
againt
Correct your spelling
against
extra ordinary
Use the right word
extraordinary
show examples
 students , the pressure of failure increases that
leads
Wrong verb form
leading
show examples
 to anxiety and depression. In
this
Linking Words
way
Add a comma
way,
show examples
 student lose their interest and begin to fail again and again. The other disadvantage of being competitive is the creation of disharmony and rivalry in a
society
Use synonyms
. If every person
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 a
society
Use synonyms
start
Correct subject-verb agreement
starts
show examples
 to fight for
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 thing,
then
Linking Words
 rivalry
take
Correct subject-verb agreement
takes
show examples
 place
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is a negative effect of being competitive.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
competitiveness
Use synonyms
 can have both constructive and destructive
effcts
Correct your spelling
effects
 on both
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
individuals and
society
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
However
Linking Words
, if healthy
competitions
Fix the agreement mistake
competition
show examples
 is made, it can help to bring more success for the
individulas
Correct your spelling
individuals
 and harmony in a
society
Use synonyms
 can take place.

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task response
Task response: State your clear view in the start and keep it in all the body of the text. Give 2–3 strong ideas and use simple examples to back them up. End with a short finish that repeats your view.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Make fewer jumps from one idea to the next. Use simple links like 'first', 'also', 'but', 'so', 'therefore'. Have each paragraph tell one idea with a clear start (topic sentence) and end (link to next paragraph).
structure
The writer shows a view on the topic and tries to use both sides of the idea.
content
Some examples are used to show points.
completeness
The end tries to sum up the idea.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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