For school children, their teachers have more influence on their intellectual and social development than their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

There is an opinion
which
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that
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states
parents
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and instructors share in the educational progress of
students
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are
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apply
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different
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differently
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.
Although
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some are of the opinion that we can separately investigate the share of both groups, I believe the share of each group in social
skills
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development and broadening mind
skills
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is equal, and both have a dynamic involvement.
Although
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some people might argue that
parents
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have a crucial role in nurturing
students
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'
skills
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interpersonally and intellectually in comparison with school
teachers
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, it is not the case.
In other words
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, some believe that since
children
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normally spend much more
time
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with their
parents
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while
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teachers
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just have 5 or 6 hours daily in primary and secondary schools,
children
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can effectively learn from their
parents
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.
However
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, it is not true in all cases.
This
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is because many
parents
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are overwhelmed with their jobs and do not have enough
time
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to spend with their
children
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,
while
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teachers
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spend all that
time
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teaching and nurturing
children
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, even though there are quite a lot of
students
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in their classes.
Therefore
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,
although
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on the surface,
students
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spend less
time
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with their
children
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, during
this
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time
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, only
teachers
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’ concentration is on
students
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to intellectually develop their capability and how they mix with their peers. Determining who plays a more effective role in the development of
students
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’ social and intellectual competences is quite impossible, and I think
this
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should be taken as mutual involvement into consideration.
In other words
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, there is a wide range of education procedures that
teachers
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and
parents
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implement side by side to help
children
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develop. To put the case into perspective,
teachers
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during school hours analyse
students
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' behaviours with their classmates and performance in school subjects
such
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as mathematics. If there is any bad
behavior
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behaviour
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or weakness in solving equations, they would inform
parents
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of their
children
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’s abnormal
behavior
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behaviour
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or poor performance.
AS a result
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,
parents
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can conduct necessary actions
such
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as more practice at home with them to enhance their
children
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's performance, especially
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while
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when
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parents
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not
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do not
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have adequate attention to their
children
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.
Therefore
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, I find it hard to determine who has a more effective part in the expansion of
children
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’s minds and manners.
To sum up
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, even though some have criteria to determine the influence level of
parents
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or
teachers
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,
such
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as the amount of
time
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is
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apply
show examples
spent educating
students
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, I completely believe
children
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are equally influenced by their
parents
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and instructors because the process of educating and developing
skills
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is highly fulfilled just through collaboration between
teachers
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and
parents
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.

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improvement
Make your main point clear in the first paragraph and keep to it in the rest of the essay.
improvement
Use short, simple words and short sentences for easy reading.
improvement
Give one or two clear examples to back your idea.
improvement
Watch small grammar and spelling to avoid wrong or missing meaning.
strength
The essay shows a view that both groups help in growth.
structure
There is a plan with an intro, body, and conclusion.
strength
The idea of equal share is kept through the essay.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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