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Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows numbers of seals, whales and dolphins recorded in the Gormez Straits from 2006 to 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows numbers of seals, whales and dolphins recorded in the Gormez Straits from 2006 to 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The graph illustrates marine mammal
populations
Use synonyms
 from 2006 to 2018. There are many outstanding
grow up
Verb problem
ups
show examples
 and downs of these three animals.
Firstly
Linking Words
, dolphins inhabitants during
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
2006
eras
Check wording
apply
show examples
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 incredibly low. Their
populations
Use synonyms
 were lower than seals by almost
a
Correct article usage
apply
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half
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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dolphins
Check wording
dolphins'
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populations
Use synonyms
 rose significantly. The
number
Use synonyms
 started at
10 ish
Correct your spelling
10ish
 and by 12
years
Use synonyms
 the population surprisingly grew up to
50 ish
Correct your spelling
50ish
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, seal
populations
Use synonyms
 began with 40 by 8
Use synonyms
years
Punctuation problem
years,
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 the
number
Use synonyms
 declined since 2006
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 from 2010 the
number
Use synonyms
 of seals increased
consequently
Linking Words
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
amount
Check wording
number
show examples
 of whales since 2006 hasn't changed much. It started approximately 20
by
Change preposition
apply
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4
years
Use synonyms
.
Rephrase
ago.
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 The numbers grew up just a little
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 during 2010
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 down below the starting point
since
Punctuation problem
; since
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then
Linking Words
number
Use synonyms
 increased to approximately
almost
Rephrase
apply
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30.
To sum up
Linking Words
, whale
inhabitants
Check wording
populations
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 have been stable since 2006.
Although
Linking Words
 the
amount
Check wording
number
show examples
 of dolphins surprisingly increased by 12
years
Use synonyms
.
In
Linking Words
contrast
Add a comma
contrast,
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seals
Fix the agreement mistake
seal
show examples
populations
Use synonyms
 began with high numbers,
then
Linking Words
 dropped down and
then
Linking Words
 rose up.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words populations, number, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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