IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries, young people find it difficult to buy their first home. Why is this happening? What can be done to solve this problem?

Nowadays, young people are facing the problem of purchasing their first property.
This
Linking Words
 trend may have different reasons
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as low salaries in entry-level positions, rising house prices, or even strict loan requirements.
However
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, practical solutions exist to mitigate
such
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 an issue, including implementing government incentives or changing the nature of housing supply by
construction
Use synonyms
 companies. The main reason why young adults cannot buy a first home is the increase in prices. Compared to what our parents or grandparents could afford 20 years ago, people today are not able to earn the same level of wages relative to housing costs. Current salaries are not enough to cover not only young people’s education payments (debts) but
also
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 their daily necessities.
Furthermore
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, an increasing gap between income and affordability
due to
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 inflation or other economic reasons has reduced the possibility of purchasing housing for young individuals. To address
this
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, governments or
construction
Use synonyms
 corporations must encourage active campaigns. Government incentives
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as first-time buyer programmes or low-interest
loans
Punctuation problem
loans,
show examples
 can remove the burden of purchasing relatively expensive real estate.
Moreover
Linking Words
, companies in the
construction
Use synonyms
 industry may increase the supply of affordable housing, even with compact living spaces. In conclusion, the problem of affordable property for young people is caused by a large gap between available salaries and the cost of houses. By initiating first-time buyer campaigns and encouraging
construction
Use synonyms
organizations
Use the right word
organisations
show examples
 to supply affordable housing units, society can combat
this
Linking Words
 issue.

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content
Add more real facts or numbers to show the gap between money and house price.
content
Explain the loan rules more, with a simple example of what slows a loan.
structure
Break long sentences into two small ones to aid reading.
structure
Keep each paragraph to one main idea and use clear link words to move on.
language
Use only easy words; pick common terms from the top 100 words.
content
The essay has a clear plan with cause and fix.
cohesion
It uses good link words to join ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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