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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think there is no need to travel anymore, because we can see the world using the internet. Others think it's still important to travel. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In contemporary society, the advent of the internet has changed the manner in which we engage with the world around us.
This
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 essay will contemplate both perspectives before articulating the assertion that physical
travel
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 remains an irreplaceable phase of human experience. The most significant advantage of virtual exploration is that the internet offers instant cultural exposure without the challenges associated with language barriers. Digital platforms
such
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 as virtual reality tours and educational documentaries allow users to immerse themselves in diverse cultures from the comfort of their homes.
For instance
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, a student can study ancient civilisations through online resources,
thus
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 acquiring knowledge that would traditionally require extensive
travel
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.
Furthermore
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, the digital realm presents an unparalleled opportunity for educational benefits, enabling individuals to engage with global perspectives and access niche information that may not be available locally.
Conversely
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, the significance of
travel
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 transcends mere physical movement; it encompasses profound emotional and spiritual
experiences
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 that cannot be replicated online. Travelling fosters genuine connections with local communities and supports their economies, allowing tourists to engage in unique cultural exchanges.
Additionally
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, embarking on journeys presents challenges, introducing elements of adventure and personal growth that digital
experiences
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 often lack. Activities
such
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 as hiking in the Andes or navigating the streets of Tokyo can enhance one's physical well-being and mental resilience,
further
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 illustrating the multifaceted advantages of
travel
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.
While
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 virtual
experiences
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 may offer convenience, they cannot substitute for the rich tapestry of
experiences
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 afforded by real-world exploration. In conclusion,
although
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 the internet serves as a valuable tool for cultural and educational engagement, it cannot wholly replace the necessity for
travel
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. The intrinsic benefits of physical journeys—ranging from supporting local economies to enriching one's emotional and spiritual life—are irreplaceable.

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improvement
Make the main idea clear at the start. Say your view in one clear line so readers know your stance.
improvement
Use simple link words to show how ideas go with each other, like 'also', 'but', 'however', 'for example'.
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Add one or two real life or common examples that the reader can see in daily life.
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Keep long sentences short. Break big ideas into two shorter lines so it is easy to read.
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End with a short and direct conclusion that restates your view.
strength
The essay talks about both sides and has a clear view.
strength
There are good ideas that show why travel or the web can matter.
strength
Examples are used to show points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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