IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents who educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

There are more and more
parents
Use synonyms
like
Correct pronoun usage
who like
show examples
 spending a lot of
time
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 with their
children
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 and teaching them by themselves at home
instead
Linking Words
 of going to
school
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. In my opinion, the benefits of
this
Linking Words
 way outweigh the disadvantages and the child is able to get more help and
harvest
Verb problem
grow
show examples
 in their
grownth
Correct your spelling
growth
. The
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
way of making
children
Use synonyms
 study at home with their
parents
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 can be
benefit
Replace the word
beneficial
show examples
 to kids.
Firstly
Linking Words
, there
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 more
time
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 for
children
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 to stay with their
parents
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 so that their family relationship can be good.Most importantly, those
parents
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 can give their
children
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freer
Correct article usage
a freer
show examples
life
Check wording
apply
show examples
and more
colorful
Use the right word
colourful
show examples
 life in the process of
children
Use synonyms
's growth.
For example
Linking Words
,In China, there are many
parents
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 who are willing to spend a long
time
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 with their
children
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 and give them another
education
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 system,
such
Linking Words
 as taking them have long trips around the world to increase their knowledge, and
children
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 who grow up in
this
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 environment will have a strong heart and rich experience, which is something that cannot be got under the
school
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education
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 system. Another benefit of
this
Linking Words
education
Use synonyms
 method is that
children
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 will not be bullied at
school
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 by their classmates.
However
Linking Words
, staying at home too
long
Correct article usage
a long
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 may lead to kids' inability
of cooperating
Change preposition
to cooperate
show examples
 and
communicating
Wrong verb form
communicate
show examples
 with other people and
could
Verb problem
may
show examples
 not
good
Verb problem
be good
show examples
 at making friends of the same age.
For instance
Linking Words
 ,
children
Use synonyms
 stay next to their
parents
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 for a long
time
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,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 they may only adapt to the mode of communicating with their
parents
Use synonyms
,and they may not know how to communicate, which will make it a little difficult for them to survive in society in the future. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 the
school
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education
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 system can help
children
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 become good citizens, I believe that
parents
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'
education
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 can have a greater impact on their
children
Use synonyms
's independent personalities.

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grammar
Work on clear grammar and sentence form to avoid errors that hide ideas.
coherence
Use a clear topic sentence for each paragraph to show the point you will talk about.
development of ideas
Give more detail to your ideas. Explain how homeschooling helps children and how it can harm them, with a real example if you can.
task response
Balance your view with a fair look at both sides, then say your final view.
lexical resource
Watch spelling and word form (growth, harvest, etc.) and keep simple, correct words.
content
You take a clear position that you think homeschooling has more good points.
ideas
You give examples of benefits like more time with family and less bullying.
structure
There is a basic structure with intro, body and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • homeschooling
  • flexibility
  • individual learning style
  • family bonds
  • safer environment
  • bullying
  • peer pressure
  • educational resources
  • socialization
  • commitment
  • diverse viewpoints
  • narrow worldview
  • gaps in learning
  • community programs
  • educational travels
What to do next:
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