Some people think that shops should not be allowed to sell any food or drink that has scientifically been proved to have bad effects on people's health. To what extent do you agree or disagree

In recent years, there has been a growing concern about ensuring food safety, leading to the need to ban harmful
products
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from the local market.
While
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this
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change brings certain advantages to the buyers, I believe a total prohibition will be unrealistic and have more limitations. On the one hand, making unhealthy
products
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disappear helps consumers improve their well-being. As there are many foods or drinks that contain bad ingredients
such
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as fats, salt or sugar, which have a strong link to common diseases like diabetes, heart disease or obesity.
Therefore
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, if these items are not sold in shops or markets, the public, especially children, will have fewer chances to consume them.
As a result
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, people will spend less money on healthcare services, leading to a more developed society.
On the other hand
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, a complete ban on all scientifically proven harmful items has serious drawbacks.
Firstly
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, the low-income class will find it difficult to afford food or drinks as low-priced
products
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often have lower nutritional value.
This
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phenomenon,
hence
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, will create an inequality between the rich and the poor, leading to riots or protests in society.
Secondly
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, a rigorous restriction could drive the sale of low-nutrient food or beverages into the illegal black market, where there is no quality control or safety standards. In
such
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places, harmful
products
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could be produced and sold secretly without any health checks, making them far more dangerous than if they were sold legally under strict supervision.
Consequently
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, the aim of protecting public health could backfire, exposing purchasers to even greater risks. In conclusion,
while
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removing dangerous
products
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from shops could be better for human health, there are more side effects in terms of social problems. A balanced policy with strict rules for the worst items, better information for shoppers, and education about healthy lifestyles would be a more practical and fair solution.

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content
State your view clearly in the opening and keep it steady through the essay.
structure
Use topic sentences to show the main point of each paragraph.
content
Give more direct and linked examples to your idea of a ban.
language
Use simple linking words like and, but, for example, so, therefore.
grammar
Check your sentences to be short and clear.
content
You show a clear view that a full ban is not best.
structure
You give reasons for both sides and a plan for use.
content
You use real ideas like illness and money to back your view.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • health
  • food
  • drink
  • harm
  • science
  • prove
  • ban
  • rule
  • law
  • shop
  • sell
  • people
  • child
  • adult
  • choice
  • freedom
  • cost
  • benefit
  • risk
  • tax
  • label
  • warning
  • market
  • policy
  • work
  • plan
  • time
  • money
  • fair
  • clear
  • easy
  • difficult
  • strong
  • weak
  • plan
  • idea
  • enforce
  • educate
  • option
  • healthy
  • unhealthy
  • advertising
  • school
  • mother
  • father
  • family
  • society
  • government
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