Prison is an effective punishment for when break the low. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The best way to deter criminals is jail.
While
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some oppose
this
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notice , I personally argue in favour. All individuals who break the law should be punished, and the most effective way is
prison
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.
Prison
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has just been a part of society. Penitentiary can be used as a period of reflection and self-improvement.
For example
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, some offenders ' time in
prison
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can be a period of reform and growth.
In addition
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, offenders in
prison
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should
also
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be supported in learning about money on finance, improving their confidence, developing their understanding
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
supportive
Correct article usage
a supportive
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way , and dealing with issues that may arise or previous traumas.
Therefore
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, the detention centre will be held accountable for their actions , and they might
also
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have opportunities to study and come up with their mental problems. It is
also
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worth considering that
prison
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is
such
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a difficult time for people who experience should
then
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deter them from committing
further
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offences. If criminals stay in
prison
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many times , the pressure system may exacerbate the previous traumas.
For instance
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, people during time in
prison
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can become more traumatised or more dangerous, and re-offending rates are high.
Thus
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, for some kind of crimes that did not damage people's lives, they can apply more lighter punishment
instead
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of
prison
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. In conclusion, the government must consider the long-term impact the
prison
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has on an individual , not only just mentally , but
also
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considering the influence it
while
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on their life chances and their ability to reinterpret into society.

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structure
Make your case clear from the start and keep a steady line of thought to the end.
language
Use short, simple sentences and link ideas with basic words like and, but, so.
content
Give one or two clear examples to back your main ideas.
language
Check grammar and punctuation to avoid mix up in meaning.
position
You show a clear view in favor of prison.
structure
You have an intro and a conclusion.
content
You touch on ideas of reform and how prison can affect life after release.
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