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Writing Samples
Band 6

The graphs below show the size of the ozone hole over Antarctica and the production of three ozone-damaging gases from 1980 to 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graphs below show the size of the ozone hole over Antarctica and the production of three ozone-damaging gases from 1980 to 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The two-line graphs illustrate the change in the
ozone
Use synonyms
 hole size over the
Antarctica
Replace the word
Antarctic
show examples
 region from 1980 to 2000, and the amount of three gases produced
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 caused damage to the
ozone
Use synonyms
 layer during the same period.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
ozone
Use synonyms
 hole size around 400 thousand square Km in 1980 saw and steady increase and
reaching
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
 its ninefold at around 3.6
million
Use synonyms
 in the early 21st century.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the only decrease over the two decades is in
early
Correct article usage
the early
show examples
 1990s, dropping from 2
million
Use synonyms
 square Km to 1.2
million
Use synonyms
 square Km. Turning to the next graphs, CFC-11,
for example
Linking Words
,
remain
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
 unchanged for 2 years at around 70
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
,
then
Linking Words
 continued to drop and vanished in the year 2000. CFC-12, starting from 28
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
 in 1980, increased steadily to around 40
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
 over the twenty years.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, N2O
is
Verb problem
did
show examples
 not
started
Wrong verb form
start
show examples
 damaging the
ozone
Use synonyms
 layer until 1990,
has
Correct word choice
and has
show examples
rose up
Wrong verb form
risen
show examples
 dramatically to 30
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
 in 10 years. In summary, the peak of
ozone
Use synonyms
 hole size over Antarctica is 3.6
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 CFC-12 and N2O
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 become the major impact which
damaging
Wrong verb form
damages
show examples
 the
ozone
Use synonyms
 layer.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words ozone, million, tonnes with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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