IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the average temperature and precipitation of Japan.

The charts below show the average temperature and precipitation of Japan.
The given charts present the information about
average
Correct article usage
the average
show examples
 max and min
Use synonyms
temperature
Fix the agreement mistake
temperatures
show examples
including
Punctuation problem
, including
show examples
 raining in Okinawa, Japan
Punctuation problem
, thoughout
show examples
thoughout
Correct your spelling
throughout
 the year.
To begin
Linking Words
with
Punctuation problem
with,
show examples
 the climate of
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
 three months, the hottest
temperature
Use synonyms
 is around 20C/68F,
while
Linking Words
 winter is about 15C/59F. There
are
Verb problem
is are
show examples
 slight increase average amount of rain from just above 90mm/3.6in to 135mm/5.4in.
Afterward
Fix the agreement mistake
Afterwards
show examples
,
Use synonyms
temperature
Correct article usage
the temperature
show examples
 of summer
cinsiderably
Correct your spelling
considerably
rise
Correct subject-verb agreement
rises
show examples
 to 30C/88F and
reach
Correct subject-verb agreement
reaches
show examples
peak
Correct article usage
a peak
show examples
 at around 32C/88F in July.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the cold weather shows
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 similar trend
as
Change preposition
to
show examples
 summer
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is remarkable growth from about 17C/64F to over 25C/77F. For the
precipation
Correct your spelling
precipitation
, after
significant
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
reaching peak at about
32C
Correct your spelling
32 °C
/
88F
Correct your spelling
88°F
, the average of rain dramatically drops to about 190mm/7.3in in July.
Last
Linking Words
 six months of the year, there is
considerable
Correct article usage
a considerable
show examples
 decline
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
Use synonyms
temperature
Correct article usage
the temperature
show examples
 of summer to 21C/69F, and winter
also
Linking Words
 shows
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 similar
drownward
Correct your spelling
downward
 trend to 16C/60F in December. For
average
Correct article usage
the average
show examples
 amount of
raining
Replace the word
rain
show examples
, it experienced
Correct article usage
a drawnward
show examples
drawnward
Correct your spelling
downward
 trend as well to 120mm/4.2in.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the climate in Okinawa had
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
temperature
Use synonyms
 until September before having lower
Use synonyms
temperature
Fix the agreement mistake
temperatures
show examples
 and amount of
precipation
Correct your spelling
precipitation
 in the
last
Linking Words
 three months of the year.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words temperature, c, f, mm with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • temperature
  • average
  • high
  • low
  • rise
  • fall
  • increase
  • decrease
  • change
  • vary
  • season
  • spring
  • summer
  • autumn
  • winter
  • month
  • year
  • area
  • north
  • south
  • coast
  • inland
  • region
  • rain
  • rainfall
  • heavy
  • light
  • dry
  • wet
  • pattern
  • trend
  • contrast
  • similarity
  • overall
  • there is
  • there are
  • more
  • less
  • than
  • as
  • in addition
  • however
  • for example
  • across
  • throughout
  • during
  • despite
  • than
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