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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

“Some people believe that keeping a pet has many benefits, while others think it causes problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion.”

In today’s modern world, adoption of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
animals has gained remarkable influence
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 it continues to increase rapidly. Elderly
people
Use synonyms
 don’t support
this
Linking Words
 influence;
Linking Words
however
Punctuation problem
however,
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 young
people
Use synonyms
 can do
this
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. Because
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 new generations tend to take care of animals.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, it has sparked widespread debates among individuals.
While
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 some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that it offers enjoyment and responsibility, others highlight that it leads to a lot of problems.
This
Linking Words
 discussion provides advantages in terms of
pets
Use synonyms
. They can find shelter, give a sense of security and be enjoyed by children. First of all, as long as
people
Use synonyms
 have a
pet
Use synonyms
, they should provide a lot of facilities,
such
Linking Words
 as shelter, healthcare and feeding.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
pets
Use synonyms
 give a sense of security.
For instance
Linking Words
,provided that their
owners
Use synonyms
 go outside, dogs can protect the
owners
Use synonyms
’ home against thieves
while
Linking Words
 barking.
Besides
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 these,
pets
Use synonyms
 and
owners
Use synonyms
 have a great relationship. They can share their loneliness
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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pets
Use synonyms
 are a source of entertainment. Should
owners
Use synonyms
 be lonely, they can
spend
Verb problem
have
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 fun time with each other.
Although
Linking Words
 there are numerous benefits, there are some drawbacks. First and foremost, keeping a
pet
Use synonyms
 costs some expenses, namely vet, nutrition and
pet
Use synonyms
 toys. These expenses make
owners
Use synonyms
’ economic stability harder.
In addition
Linking Words
,
pets
Use synonyms
 can be dangerous in the home.
While
Linking Words
 they play games, they can break some household items, which can
hazard
Verb problem
cause harm
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 to their
owners
Use synonyms
 and themselves.
Also
Linking Words
, they disturb their neighbours. In conclusion,
adoption of the
Correct word order
the adoption of
show examples
 animals is discussed among
people
Use synonyms
. Some individuals claim that it has advantages
such
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 as providing
security
Replace the word
a secure
show examples
 place, and
ertentaining
Correct your spelling
entertaining
,
while
Linking Words
 others believe it has disadvantages.
For instance
Linking Words
, keeping a
pet
Use synonyms
 contributes to expenditure, danger and disturbing other
people
Use synonyms
. In light of the above, the benefits of taking care of
pets
Use synonyms
 outweigh
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
 disadvantages.

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planning
Plan your essay first. Make a short map of each part with the main point you want to say.
content
State your view clearly. Put your main opinion in the last line of the intro and again in the conclusion.
examples
Add one or two clear examples to back each idea.
grammar
Use simple and clear sentences. Check spelling and word form.
structure
Keep one idea per paragraph. Start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence.
content
The essay tries to discuss both sides and give a view.
structure
There is a clear shape: intro, two body parts, and a conclusion.
language
Some linking words show order and contrast.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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