IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In developed countries, more and people buy and use their cars. Do the advantages for people of car using outweightq its disadvantages on environment

In developed countries, more
cars
Use synonyms
 are being
utilized
Use the right word
utilised
show examples
 and purchased. It is
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
my belief that the positive effect of
this
Linking Words
 matter could certainly offset its disadvantages. There are several drawbacks to buying
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
and using more
cars
Use synonyms
 in developed countries. A common problem is that more
Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 bought and used worsen the air pollution. It is because the increase in
Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 equals more
car
Use synonyms
 fumes released into the air.
For instance
Linking Words
, the rise of
cars
Use synonyms
 has been
proved
Use the right word
proven
show examples
 multiple times to be harmful to the environment as it
strengthen
Correct subject-verb agreement
strengthens
show examples
 the
green house
Use the right word
greenhouse
show examples
 effect gas. Another issue can be that the public
infastructure
Correct your spelling
infrastructure
 needs renovation to
please
Verb problem
meet
show examples
 the demand of
risng
Correct your spelling
rising
car
Use synonyms
 usage. In fact, most
infastructure
Correct your spelling
infrastructure
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 not up to date to
suppport
Correct your spelling
support
 a new wave of
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
show examples
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
ultimately
Verb problem
will ultimately
show examples
 going to cause a dent in
government's
Correct article usage
the government's
show examples
 money.
However
Linking Words
,
inspite
Correct your spelling
despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these negative effects, purchasing and using
cars
Use synonyms
 can bring about important benefits. One obvious advantage is that the rate of
car
Use synonyms
ultilization
Correct your spelling
utilisation
 benefits the economy. It is because
Use synonyms
cars
Fix the agreement mistake
car
show examples
 consumption and operation trigger a growth in gross domestic product. Another positive aspect can be
that
Linking Words
is
Correct pronoun usage
it is
show examples
 how versatile and convenient you can use the
cars
Use synonyms
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to public
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
. In fact, having
cars
Use synonyms
 can help you be flexible
on
Change preposition
with
show examples
 your time and where you wish to go.
For example
Linking Words
, having a
car
Use synonyms
 has helped
multiplle
Correct your spelling
multiple
 families in Europe to save time and money on trips and moving within the continent. In conclusion, it seems to me that the potential benefits of the rise in possessing and using
cars
Use synonyms
 of
develop
Wrong verb form
developed
show examples
 countries are more
worth
Use the right word
worthwhile
show examples
while
Linking Words
 than the possible harm.

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task response
Improve task response by making your view clear in the opening and end with a strong conclusion. Develop the main idea more with real links to life.
coherence cohesion
Make each paragraph follow a clear order. Start with a topic sentence and keep ideas on one main point per paragraph. Use simple linking words to join ideas.
content
The writer states a view and tries to use examples.
structure
There is an attempt to mention both sides and to end with a view.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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