IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that governments should spend money on developing public healthcare systems, while others argue that funds should be used to improve education. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Healthcare
Use synonyms
 and
education
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 are two essential pillars of any country, and governments should always give them high priority. Some people believe that
healthcare
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 should receive greater attention,
whereas
Linking Words
 others argue that
education
Use synonyms
 should be at the top of the agenda. If the government invests in hospitals, citizens will have easier access to treatment during illness. For any state to secure a strong future, its residents must remain healthy.
For instance
Linking Words
, if vaccines are available in every part of the country, many deadly diseases can be prevented, which would ultimately reduce the financial burden on the
healthcare
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 system. Even though good health is crucial,
education
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 is equally important. Policymakers should consider it a vital responsibility, since the economic independence of a nation largely depends on how well-educated its people are. High-quality
education
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 should be provided free of cost so that it is accessible to all.
For example
Linking Words
, if teenagers receive proper training in a strong schooling system, they will be able to achieve higher goals and contribute positively to the financial growth of the country. In my opinion,
while
Linking Words
healthcare
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 is undeniably important, investment in
education
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 is even more essential to ensure long-term national prosperity. An educated population not only strengthens the economy but
also
Linking Words
 brings innovation and stability, making the nation more competitive on the global stage.

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coherence
Add a clearer plan at the start and signpost your ideas in each paragraph.
task
Give more exact examples and explain how they show the point.
task
Mention a strong counter point and then explain why your view stands.
task
Finish with a short, strong end that restates your view and main ideas.
coherence
Use simple link words to show how ideas are connected.
structure
The essay has a clear view and easy flow.
structure
Intro and end are in place, and ideas link well.
coherence
Use of linking words helps the flow of ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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