Levels of youth crime are increasing rapidly in most cities around the world. What are the reasons for this, and suggest some solutions.
Nowadays, the number of juvenile crimes has been increasing dramatically in many towns around the globe, and
this
issue should be addressed and resolved rapidly. There are several reasons behind this
, and some of them are described below with solutions.
With the development of the modern world, bias is still a big issue in many developed countries, especially in the cities. Consequently
, this
discrimination leads to poverty among the masses, which could be the underlying cause of the rising crime rate among adolescents. Moreover
, it is important to mention that diversity creates a dispute, when the majority cannot afford proper education, further
aggravating the gap between the upper class and the proletariat. For instance
, youngsters from slums are more involved in crimes compared to the upper classes. The crucial reasons are the shortage of money and proper education, whereas
the latter leads to developing ethics, which helps to become a good human being. Hence
, such
issues arise in society and this
needs to be addressed excessively. As a result
of this
, it could lead to the creation of an illiterate and immoral society, which could further
postpone the development of humanity.
Turning to possible solutions, an obvious step would be to prevent rising unfairness and to tackle the cause of this
dilemma. First of all, the government should increase the amount of education and job centres, which might be helpful for enhancing ethical behaviour as well as
income. Also
, it is essential to care about the conditions of employees and implement legislation, which restricts the exploitation of the common folk by the rich. These might be the possible ways of tackling these issues.
In conclusion, considering all the previously mentioned information, it is highly important for the government to resolve this
question as soon as possible. Furthermore
, awareness of the communities also
plays a pivotal role in stopping these problems. Therefore
, both of them should work together to eradicate theseSubmitted by tanvir0507 on
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coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear argument, but requires a stronger logical structure. Ideas should flow from one to the other in a more seamless manner, ensuring that paragraphs connect with each other effectively. Transition words could be utilized more effectively to guide the reader through the arguments presented.
coherence cohesion
While the introduction and conclusion are present, both could be improved. Ensure that the introduction clearly presents the topic and the writer's viewpoint, while the conclusion should effectively summarize the main points and restate the writer's opinion without introducing new ideas.
coherence cohesion
The main points are supported, but the support could be more developed. It would benefit the essay to include more elaborated examples, data, or citations that bolster the argument. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea that is expanded upon with evidence.
task achievement
You have responded to the task partially; however, the response should be more comprehensive. The essay requires a more in-depth exploration of the causes and solutions for youth crime. It is important to fully develop each point to meet the task requirements.
task achievement
While some ideas are clear, the overall response should be more comprehensive. Each idea presented should be explained and expanded upon to ensure a full understanding of the topic. Aim to present each point comprehensively within its own paragraph, allowing for a full exploration of that point.
task achievement
The essay includes some relevant examples, but they are not specific enough to strongly support the arguments. More specific examples or case studies related to youth crimes and their solutions could make the argument more persuasive and the essay more informative.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example