IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Television dominates the free time for too many people It can make people lazy and prevent them from socializing with others Do you agree or disagree Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Nowdays
Use the right word
Nowadays
show examples
,
television
Use synonyms
 is in
everyone
Check wording
everyone's
show examples
 houses,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 think we got used to
watch
Wrong verb form
watching
show examples
Use synonyms
tv
Use the right word
TV
show examples
 every day since we were
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
.
but
Fix capitalization
But
show examples
 in some
people
Check wording
people's
show examples
case
Correct subject-verb agreement
cases
show examples
it
Punctuation problem
, it
show examples
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
show examples
 an
ediction
Correct your spelling
addiction
, they spend almost all of
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
time
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the couch
whatching
Correct your spelling
watching
the
Correct determiner usage
TV
show examples
tv
Use synonyms
 , away from reality , making
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
 social life nearly
disappearing
Wrong verb form
disappear
show examples
,which
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 don't agree with. In my point of view,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 think spending more
time
Use synonyms
 sitting and watching
television
Use synonyms
 is
something
Check wording
apply
show examples
not healthy. Not to your eyes or to your brain
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
ofcours
Correct your spelling
of course
 not to your body, sitting for a long
time
Use synonyms
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 your body lazy
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it
Linking Words
also
Verb problem
is also
show examples
 a
reasone
Correct your spelling
reason
 for getting fat . In
2010
Punctuation problem
2010,
show examples
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 read a research in
health
Correct article usage
a health
show examples
 website, saying that:" there is a
realtionship
Correct your spelling
relationship
 between
Use synonyms
pepole
Correct your spelling
people
 spending much
time
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
watcing
Correct your spelling
watching
Use synonyms
tv
Use the right word
TV
show examples
 and
Verb problem
being overwight
show examples
overwight
Correct your spelling
overweight
"
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 think the more
time
Use synonyms
 you sit
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
 more you
gitting
Verb problem
get
show examples
 lazy to do any
active
Replace the word
activity
show examples
 in your day.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 hand,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 think being in the
hose
Use the right word
house
show examples
 to watch
television
Use synonyms
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
may make
Use synonyms
pepole
Correct your spelling
people
 become
un socilized
Correct your spelling
unsociable
,
becouse
Correct your spelling
because
 when they spend most of
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 in the
house
Punctuation problem
house,
show examples
 it may
led
Wrong verb form
lead
show examples
 them to not going out with
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
frinds
Correct your spelling
friends
 or may be skipping another
imprtant
Correct your spelling
important
 social event they must go
,
Change preposition
to, becouse
show examples
becouse
Correct your spelling
because
 they used to sit alone in
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
 free
time
Use synonyms
 in
house
Correct article usage
the house
show examples
 without any real contact with real
Use synonyms
pepole
Correct your spelling
people
. I
watch
Wrong verb form
watched
show examples
 a study in
Use synonyms
Television
Correct article usage
a Television
show examples
 program
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
collage
Use the right word
college
show examples
students
Use synonyms
, they put 10
students
Use synonyms
 in
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
doorms
Correct your spelling
dorms
 with a
television
Use synonyms
 and made them free to watch
any thing
Use the right word
anything
show examples
 they want
, after
Punctuation problem
. After
show examples
 one week , the
resarcher
Correct your spelling
researcher
notice
Replace the word
noticed
show examples
 that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
only
tow
Use the right word
two
show examples
 of the ten
students
Use synonyms
 went to the
collage
Use the right word
college
show examples
 events
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the rest of the
students
Use synonyms
 only
go
Wrong verb form
went
show examples
 out to bring food .
There
Use the right word
Their
show examples
 social life went to
low
Correct article usage
a low
show examples
 level , they only sat in
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
doorms whatcing
Correct your spelling
dorms watching
 more
Use synonyms
tv
Use the right word
TV
show examples
 shows. To sum it all up,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 agree that
television
Use synonyms
 may make
Use synonyms
pepole
Correct your spelling
people
 lazy and away
frome
Correct your spelling
from
 social life , it can
dominates
Wrong verb form
dominate
show examples
 in
Use synonyms
pepole
Correct your spelling
people
brins
Punctuation problem
, brins
show examples
 it made them
disconacted
Correct your spelling
disconnected
to
Change preposition
from
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other
Use synonyms
pepole
Correct your spelling
people
.

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task response
State your clear view in the first sentence.
task response
Make a short plan before writing: 2-3 reasons with explanations.
coherence
Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph.
coherence
Link ideas with simple connectors (and, but, because, for example).
grammar
Check your spelling and grammar to help readers.
content
Some ideas about health and social life are present.
structure
There is a basic attempt to use examples.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • dominates
  • lazy
  • prevents
  • socializing
  • entertainment
  • sedentary
  • lifestyle
  • limits
  • interaction
  • educational
  • source of information
  • tool
  • balanced approach
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
What to do next:
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