IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Market approach as a part
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the marketing strategy in recent years, by offering
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 fresh solution from the product that
closest
Verb problem
is closest
show examples
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct pronoun usage
what the
show examples
 buyer
needed
Wrong verb form
needs
show examples
. The advertising strategy that introduced the newest improvement can attract the customer interest,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
this
Linking Words
 technique
are have
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 two side
impacts
Check wording
effects
show examples
 if the management production
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
lack
Replace the word
lacking
show examples
. The intention
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the customer to purchase the
things
Check wording
products
show examples
 depends on the value
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
products
Use synonyms
 that might be offered. Introduced the newest feature or design
slightly
Verb problem
to slightly
show examples
 gain the buyer engagement, because it showed the refreshment of the
brand
Use synonyms
 awareness for
solution
Correct article usage
the solution
show examples
 and
Correct article usage
the impacts
show examples
impacts
Correct subject-verb agreement
impact
show examples
improvement
Change preposition
of improvement
show examples
.
Iphone
Use the right word
iPhone
show examples
 type transition
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every year
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 been hyped,
due to
Linking Words
 the quality and experiences upgrading to make people
fascination
Replace the word
fascinated
show examples
.
Advertise
Wrong verb form
Advertising
show examples
 the
products
Use synonyms
 by
showed
Wrong verb form
showing
show examples
 the optimisation
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 would
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
have significant advantages to
brand
Use synonyms
 value.
However
Linking Words
, if the business
not
Verb problem
does not
show examples
 have a good system for production, it will have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
drawbacks for the quality of
products
Use synonyms
, management systems, and
brand
Use synonyms
sustain
Replace the word
sustainability
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, the customer shifting so quickly from the oldest to
newest
Correct article usage
the newest
show examples
 phone
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can increase the electronic waste from the previous model.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the company
still
Verb problem
is still
show examples
 lacking in
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
 management system and responsibility, so it will make
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 negative impression
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
brand
Use synonyms
 and
make
Verb problem
cause setbacks in
show examples
 the business
setbacks
Check wording
apply
show examples
. In conclusion,
offer
Wrong verb form
offering
show examples
 the
products
Use synonyms
 as a
results
Fix the agreement mistake
result
show examples
 of market research would make the right
products
Use synonyms
 and enhance the business through innovation.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the product development process
are
Verb problem
is are
show examples
 main concern before rapid advertising, to ensure the quality and impact
constantly
Verb problem
are constantly
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
 grade.

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Task fulfilment
Plan your writing. State your view at the start. Then give two clear ideas to support it, and finish with a short conclusion.
Coherence
Make ideas flow well. Use simple linking words and keep short links between ideas.
Specific examples
Give one or two real examples that match your idea and say how they show your point.
Language
Check your grammar. Use short, plain sentences. Choose common words from easy lists.
Content/Idea
You offer a view on if ads with new features can help or harm a brand.
Examples
You give an example of iPhone yearly change to show the idea.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • emphasise
  • advertising
  • products
  • innovation
  • competitive strategy
  • consumer dissatisfaction
  • value
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