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Writing Samples
Band 7

SECOND--The graph below shows the number of films produced by five countries in three years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

SECOND--The graph below shows the number of films produced by five countries in three years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar graph shows
films
Use synonyms
 produced by each of the five countries over a three-year period from 2007 to 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
,
country
Use synonyms
 A had the highest
production
Use synonyms
 of
films
Use synonyms
 over all the other countries combined from 2007 to 2009,
while
Linking Words
country
Use synonyms
E
Use synonyms
 had the lowest
production
Use synonyms
 of
movies
Use synonyms
. In 2007,
country
Use synonyms
 A had close to 90
films
Use synonyms
 developed,
this
Linking Words
 maintained in the following year and declined to 80
movies
Use synonyms
 in 2009.
Country
Use synonyms
 B started from 50
movies
Use synonyms
 in 2007 and slightly grew to 51 in the following year, and it peaked
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
 70
films
Use synonyms
 in 2009. There was a low
production
Use synonyms
 of
films
Use synonyms
 not exceeding 20
films
Use synonyms
 per year in
Use synonyms
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 C,
Use synonyms
country
Check wording
apply
show examples
D and
Check wording
apply
show examples
country
Use synonyms
E
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
,
country
Use synonyms
E
Use synonyms
 had the lowest
production
Use synonyms
 of
movies
Use synonyms
, from
Punctuation problem
. From
show examples
 2007 to 2008,
country
Use synonyms
E
Use synonyms
 had only 10
movies
Use synonyms
 in both years and slightly grew to 11
movies
Use synonyms
 in 2009.
However
Linking Words
,
country
Use synonyms
 C had a gradual increase in the number of
movies
Use synonyms
 produced from approximately 9
movies
Use synonyms
 in 2007 to 19
movies
Use synonyms
 in 2009.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words films, country, production, e, movies with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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