Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences arethe key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

People
hold different views about whether charging substantial penalties is an effective way to reduce
traffic
accidents
or not. Personally, I support that strict punishments avert driving offenders and
this
essay demonstrates
firstly
that adding a prison sentence or revoking a license to the list of punishments helps to improve safety on
roads
followed by an analysis of other suggested actions , is not valid. The main reason to attach importance to sentences is that increase the responsibility whenever everyone thinks it is a minor offence and can easily be dealt with its punishment.
That is
to say,
people
create peril for both their lives and other drivers' lives on
roads
by drunk driving or speeding. Recent investigations reveal that
traffic
accidents
claim over one million lives annually. Drinking drivers and overlooking rules intentionally play the main role in these
accidents
as well.
Consequently
, if
people
knew that they could not avoid accountability not only by paying a minor financial penalty but
also
through more severe punishments like imprisonment or license revocation, they would take the rules seriously
instead
of risking costly loss of life on the
roads
. Those opposed to
this
say that key actions are periodical education and training about
traffic
accidents'
Change noun form
accidents
show examples
results and how to make
roads
safer.
In addition
, governments need to promote escaping from private cars in an attempt to reduce
traffic
congestion and the number of novice drivers by improving public transport service and offering more favourable alternatives.
However
, these suggestions seem like a solution for risky
roads
,
accidents
are mostly caused by irresponsibility, not ignorance, and
on the other hand
, all
this
is scanty to deter
people
from owning a private car. In conclusion, though it is thought that other measures are more effective in decreasing
traffic
accidents
,
according to
the illumination above, I believe there is a key point in applying heavy penalties that
people
act within the law and
as a result
can reach safe
roads
.
Submitted by i.nureddinn on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay provides a fair response to the prompt and discusses both views, but a clearer thesis statement in the introduction would enhance your argument. Try to state your opinion more explicitly early on as this can make the essay's position clearer from the outset.
task achievement
While your main points are relevant and well-explained, supporting them with more specific examples can strengthen your arguments. For instance, citing specific statistics or studies regarding the effectiveness of strict punishments could add more weight to your points.
coherence cohesion
Focus on ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that the ideas within the paragraph effectively support the topic sentence. This can improve the logical structure and flow of your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Transition words and phrases are used, but their usage could be more varied. Incorporate a wider range of cohesive devices to enhance the flow of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in structuring your response effectively.
task achievement
You have successfully presented both sides of the argument, which demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!