Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences arethe key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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People

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hold different views about whether charging substantial penalties is an effective way to reduce

traffic

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accidents

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or not. Personally, I support that strict punishments avert driving offenders and

this

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essay demonstrates

firstly

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that adding a prison sentence or revoking a license to the list of punishments helps to improve safety on

roads

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followed by an analysis of other suggested actions , is not valid. The main reason to attach importance to sentences is that increase the responsibility whenever everyone thinks it is a minor offence and can easily be dealt with its punishment.

That is

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to say,

people

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create peril for both their lives and other drivers' lives on

roads

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by drunk driving or speeding. Recent investigations reveal that

traffic

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accidents

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claim over one million lives annually. Drinking drivers and overlooking rules intentionally play the main role in these

accidents

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as well.

Consequently

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, if

people

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knew that they could not avoid accountability not only by paying a minor financial penalty but

also

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through more severe punishments like imprisonment or license revocation, they would take the rules seriously

instead

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of risking costly loss of life on the

roads

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. Those opposed to

this

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say that key actions are periodical education and training about

traffic

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accidents'

Change noun form

accidents

show examples

results and how to make

roads

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safer.

In addition

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, governments need to promote escaping from private cars in an attempt to reduce

traffic

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congestion and the number of novice drivers by improving public transport service and offering more favourable alternatives.

However

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, these suggestions seem like a solution for risky

roads

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accidents

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are mostly caused by irresponsibility, not ignorance, and

on the other hand

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, all

this

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is scanty to deter

people

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from owning a private car. In conclusion, though it is thought that other measures are more effective in decreasing

traffic

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accidents

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according to

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the illumination above, I believe there is a key point in applying heavy penalties that

people

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act within the law and

as a result

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can reach safe

roads

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i.nureddinnMon Aug 19 2024

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task achievement

Your essay provides a fair response to the prompt and discusses both views, but a clearer thesis statement in the introduction would enhance your argument. Try to state your opinion more explicitly early on as this can make the essay's position clearer from the outset.

task achievement

While your main points are relevant and well-explained, supporting them with more specific examples can strengthen your arguments. For instance, citing specific statistics or studies regarding the effectiveness of strict punishments could add more weight to your points.

coherence cohesion

Focus on ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that the ideas within the paragraph effectively support the topic sentence. This can improve the logical structure and flow of your ideas.

coherence cohesion

Transition words and phrases are used, but their usage could be more varied. Incorporate a wider range of cohesive devices to enhance the flow of your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in structuring your response effectively.

task achievement

You have successfully presented both sides of the argument, which demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

325 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

driving offences
traffic accidents
strict punishments
road safety
deterrent
license suspension
revocation
safe driving habits
road safety education
awareness campaigns
technological advancements
monitoring and controlling traffic
road infrastructure
pedestrian crossings
signage
automated traffic signals

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Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences arethe key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Children today find it’s difficult to concentrate or pay attention in schools. Why do you think causes this problem? What do we need to do to solve this problem?

zoos should exist or not . discuss both views and give your opinion

The massive movement of people from agricultural areas to cities in search of employment can lead to serious problems in both places. What are the problems, and how can these be solved?

Many students choose to study at colleges and universities that are far away from the places where they grew up. Do the benefits of this outweigh the drawbacks?

Some schools are very strict about their school uniforms and the appearance of their pupils, while other schools have a very relaxed dress code. What are the advantages and disadvantages of children of having a school uniform?