Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences arethe key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
People
hold different views about whether charging substantial penalties is an effective way to reduce traffic
accidents
or not. Personally, I support that strict punishments avert driving offenders and this
essay demonstrates firstly
that adding a prison sentence or revoking a license to the list of punishments helps to improve safety on roads
followed by an analysis of other suggested actions , is not valid.
The main reason to attach importance to sentences is that increase the responsibility whenever everyone thinks it is a minor offence and can easily be dealt with its punishment. That is
to say, people
create peril for both their lives and other drivers' lives on roads
by drunk driving or speeding. Recent investigations reveal that traffic
accidents
claim over one million lives annually. Drinking drivers and overlooking rules intentionally play the main role in these accidents
as well. Consequently
, if people
knew that they could not avoid accountability not only by paying a minor financial penalty but also
through more severe punishments like imprisonment or license revocation, they would take the rules seriously instead
of risking costly loss of life on the roads
.
Those opposed to this
say that key actions are periodical education and training about traffic
accidents'
results and how to make Change noun form
accidents
roads
safer. In addition
, governments need to promote escaping from private cars in an attempt to reduce traffic
congestion and the number of novice drivers by improving public transport service and offering more favourable alternatives. However
, these suggestions seem like a solution for risky roads
, accidents
are mostly caused by irresponsibility, not ignorance, and on the other hand
, all this
is scanty to deter people
from owning a private car.
In conclusion, though it is thought that other measures are more effective in decreasing traffic
accidents
, according to
the illumination above, I believe there is a key point in applying heavy penalties that people
act within the law and as a result
can reach safe roads
.Submitted by i.nureddinn on
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task achievement
Your essay provides a fair response to the prompt and discusses both views, but a clearer thesis statement in the introduction would enhance your argument. Try to state your opinion more explicitly early on as this can make the essay's position clearer from the outset.
task achievement
While your main points are relevant and well-explained, supporting them with more specific examples can strengthen your arguments. For instance, citing specific statistics or studies regarding the effectiveness of strict punishments could add more weight to your points.
coherence cohesion
Focus on ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that the ideas within the paragraph effectively support the topic sentence. This can improve the logical structure and flow of your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Transition words and phrases are used, but their usage could be more varied. Incorporate a wider range of cohesive devices to enhance the flow of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in structuring your response effectively.
task achievement
You have successfully presented both sides of the argument, which demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the topic.