Some people think government should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems to help prevent illness and diseas. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Health is one of the most important aspects of a person's life. It has been observed that individuals think that the authorities have to put
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
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in order to promote a healthy lifestyle. I agree with the given statement to a large extent. My inclination is elaborated in the ensuing paragraph and relevant examples. The foremost argument to justify my stand is that the government plays a vital role in shaping society. A bad environment leads to many health issues ,
such
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as respiratory diseases.
For instance
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, public transport should be on the list to improve in order to encourage people to use it, so that the daily use of cars reduces the pollution in the city.
Besides
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this
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, carpooling is a good option to adapt to decrease the problem.
Furthermore
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, the other reason to prove my point is that poor urban planning is one of the main reasons behind the housing crisis. Overcrowded places lead to
increasedincreased
Replace the word
an increased
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chance of communicable diseases. To illustrate, COVID is
the
Correct article usage
any
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anyone
Check wording
disease
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which can spread from one person to another. To add to
this
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, the government should make proper planning in housing ,
such
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as building small apartments rather than too many houses, to overcome these problems.
To conclude
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the discussion, it can be said that the ruling body is responsible for all these because the main intervention is often necessary to address major social issues.

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tip
Make your main ideas clearer. Each paragraph should have one big idea that matches your view.
tip
Use simple linking words to join ideas. Check the flow from one paragraph to the next.
tip
Fix small errors in spelling and grammar, and remove repeated or wrong words.
strength
You show a clear view that you agree with the statement.
strength
You give examples about transport and housing that fit the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
What to do next:
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