some people believe that electronic games are improving the skills of young people. Others think that it is a complete waste of time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is often argued that technology improves our

skils

Use the right word

skills

show examples

, and we see many gamers have a talent

Change preposition

for

show examples

problem-solving.

While

Linking Words

it is commonly believed that electronic

games

Use synonyms

are wasting our full-time, others insist that

improvment

Correct your spelling

improvement

starts in challenge.

Although

Linking Words

electronic

games

Use synonyms

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

harm

Replace the word

harmful

show examples

effects on young

people

Use synonyms

, I believe that solving problems

need

Verb problem

requires

show examples

some skills and creativity;

this

Linking Words

is because

games

Use synonyms

let

Verb problem

help

show examples

Verb problem

apply

show examples

think

how

Change preposition

about how

show examples

to achieve the

phase

Check wording

goal

show examples

, and

also

Linking Words

let

Verb problem

help

show examples

Verb problem

apply

show examples

be ready for

challenging

Replace the word

challenges

show examples

. On one hand, young

people

Use synonyms

have more free time, and they want to have a nice memorable

Check wording

time at

show examples

that time.

This

Linking Words

means that parents will give

thier

Correct your spelling

their

sons

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

electronic devices to protect them at

thier

Correct your spelling

their

home

instead

Linking Words

of going outside.

For example

Linking Words

young-student

Correct word choice

a young

show examples

person

Check wording

student

show examples

who is playing electronic

games

Use synonyms

get

Correct subject-verb agreement

gets

show examples

better grades.

Moreover

Linking Words

, challenging

let

Correct subject-verb agreement

lets

show examples

student

Fix the agreement mistake

students

show examples

to improves

Verb problem

improve

show examples

his

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

skills by practising.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, some

people

Use synonyms

consider that electronic devices have more disadvantages, and

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

will affect

human-mentality

Use the right word

human mentality

show examples

For instance

Linking Words

, recent research

inform

Verb problem

indicates

show examples

that

people

Use synonyms

who

are staying

Verb problem

spend

show examples

many

times

Check wording

lot

show examples

on gaming are more aggressive.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, some communities prevented

ski-fi

Use the right word

sci-fi

show examples

games

Use synonyms

and horror

games

Use synonyms

because they caused problems. In conclusion, there are no simple answers; I believe that to be more creative and

intelligent

Punctuation problem

intelligent,

show examples

you must

Verb problem

apply

show examples

challenge yourself first;

therefore

Linking Words

, technology

has

Verb problem

show examples

benefical

Correct your spelling

beneficial

and it helps us to live

easier

Rephrase

more easily

show examples

kfahad11

Aug 28, 2025

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task response

Your answer shows both sides and your own view, but give more reason and clear detail in each point.

coherence

Start each paragraph with a clear idea and stick to it.

coherence

Use simple link words to connect ideas (and, but, so, also, therefore).

grammar

Check spelling and grammar to avoid wrong forms and miss spellings.

task response

The writer tries to show both sides of the idea.

structure

There is a clear overall structure: intro, body, and conclusion.

coherence

Use of 'On one hand' and 'On the other hand' to compare ideas.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
35
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

224 words

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some people believe that electronic games are improving the skills of young people. Others think that it is a complete waste of time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Crime rates will fall as advances in technology make it easier to detect and prevent crimes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, it is illegal for employers to reject applying for a job because of his/her age. Discuss positive and negative. Give your opinion.

With the development of social media, more and more young people are being allowed unsupervised access to the internet in order to meet and chat with friends which can lead to potentially dangerous situations. What solutions can you suggest to deal with this problem?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?