IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

Some people believe that govts should act to the change the way individuals live in order to ensure they have more healthy lifestyle.Others however think that they should live as they choose.Discuss both and give your opinion.

in
Fix capitalization
In
show examples
 my
opinion
Punctuation problem
opinion,
show examples
 for the
Correct your spelling
governments
govts
Punctuation problem
govts,
show examples
 it can be
effect
Replace the word
effective
show examples
 to the people
Punctuation problem
. For
show examples
for
Linking Words
example
Punctuation problem
example,
show examples
 if
some one
Use the right word
someone
show examples
want
Correct subject-verb agreement
wants
show examples
 to be
Correct article usage
a asolder
show examples
asolder
Correct your spelling
soldier
with stronger
rolls
Use the right word
roles
show examples
shuold be with
Wrong verb form
should have
show examples
berfect
Correct your spelling
perfect
 vital
sings
Use the right word
signs
show examples
 as the tall and
wight
Use the right word
weight
show examples
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
wide
Correct article usage
a wide
show examples
 range
Rephrase
.
show examples
however
Linking Words
on
Fix capitalization
On
show examples
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
hand
Punctuation problem
hand,
show examples
 why
they
Verb problem
do they
show examples
 think that not
effect
Use the right word
affect
show examples
becuse
Correct your spelling
because
 there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 some
smoking people
Check wording
smokers
show examples
 and others
dringer the not mit
Verb problem
disagree with
show examples
 the structure govts .on
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
way
Check wording
hand
show examples
there
Punctuation problem
, there
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 many direct or
in direct
Use the right word
indirect
show examples
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
 to follow the
govts
Correct your spelling
government
they
Punctuation problem
; they
show examples
put
Verb problem
have put
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
more than 5000
thausand
Correct your spelling
thousand
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
 for exercise in many
difirent
Correct your spelling
different
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
 in the garden or beside the beach
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 they made
walking
Correct article usage
a walking
show examples
 street

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Plan before you write. State your view, then discuss both sides, and finish with a clear opinion.
structure
Have a clear intro and a short conclusion.
cohesion
Use simple linking words to show order, such as first, then, however, for example.
content
Give real, simple examples to show your points.
content
The essay shows an attempt to cover both sides of the issue.
content
Some idea is shown about government steps and places for exercise.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • government
  • health
  • healthy
  • life
  • policy
  • rule
  • plan
  • tax
  • ads
  • advertisements
  • ban
  • public
  • campaign
  • information
  • choice
  • freedom
  • responsibility
  • cost
  • money
  • fair
  • unfair
  • effect
  • impact
  • support
  • program
  • target
  • group
  • city
  • park
  • bike
  • walk
  • exercise
  • habits
  • lifestyle
  • issue
  • society
  • culture
  • limit
What to do next:
Look at other essays: