IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

It's important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is important for everyone, including young
people
Use synonyms
, to save
money
Use synonyms
 for their
future
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement, and
following
Correct article usage
the following
show examples
 examples will be provided in order to support my point of view. One of the most important reasons why saving
money
Use synonyms
 is significant for
Use synonyms
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
 is that young
people
Use synonyms
 are likely to grow up and work for some companies ,which probably lose their
in
Check wording
jobs in
show examples
 the
future
Use synonyms
 ,so
money
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 that they have saved in the past will help them in that bad
situation
Punctuation problem
situation,
show examples
 since
Use synonyms
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
 is uncertain ,
which
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 someone may lose their jobs for AI.
For example
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
 the latest research conducted by Kasetsart University, it was revealed that 40% of employees who are software
engineer
Fix the agreement mistake
engineers
show examples
 tend to lose their
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 because AI can do or finish the tasks for some senior roles.
This
Linking Words
 example shows that young
people
Use synonyms
 must save
money
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 for
some
Correct determiner usage
an
show examples
unpredicted
Replace the word
unpredictable
show examples
future
Use synonyms
. Another reason to support
this
Linking Words
 is the fact that the pandemic may happen again
including
Punctuation problem
, including
show examples
 COVID ,
which
Correct word choice
and which
show examples
salaries
Check wording
companies
show examples
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
 decreased 25% by
some companies
Check wording
25%
show examples
 to prevent their
money
Use synonyms
 crisis
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 that time.
This
Linking Words
 is because mature
people
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 who have saved when they
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 kids will
survey
Verb problem
survive
show examples
 in that situation. To illustrate
this
Linking Words
, in recent news, it has been reported that Thai
airway
Fix the agreement mistake
Airways
show examples
 used to decline
employees 's
Check wording
employees'
show examples
 salaries to prevent
fired
Wrong verb form
the firing
show examples
 procedure ,which young generations can
survey
Verb problem
understand
show examples
 because saving
money
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 is already in the curriculum during high school life. In conclusion, it is undoubtedly true that saving
money
Use synonyms
 is important for everyone
including
Punctuation problem
, including
show examples
 young
Use synonyms
people
Punctuation problem
people,
show examples
 because losing
their
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 can happen
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
every
Correct determiner usage
any
show examples
 time, and
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money
Correct article usage
a money
show examples
 crisis from the pandemic might happen again that saved
money
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 will help
people
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getting
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
 through
bad
Correct article usage
a bad
show examples
 situation.

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organization
Plan before you write. Start with a short intro that states your view, then give two clear reasons with small, easy examples, and end with a short conclusion.
grammar
Keep your grammar simple. Use short sentences and check subject–verb with easy forms.
content
Use clear and real examples. Make sure the facts fit what you say and are easy to see how they help your point.
coherence
Use words that link ideas, like first, also, because, so, but, then.
content
Clear view is shown and read is on the topic of saving for the future.
content
The writer tries to use facts or events from life, like AI and a pandemic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
What to do next:
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