IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The plans below show a public Park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

These maps illustrate the changes in a public park from its establishment in 1920 to now.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the plan has changed a lot during
this
Linking Words
 period. Some recreational facilities were relocated to new places.
For example
Linking Words
, there were three rose gardens and five sitting areas around the layout.
Then
Linking Words
, they were removed, and a new golden rose was built in the middle of the Grange Park.
Similarly
Linking Words
, four sitting places were made around the garden.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, a café was constructed on the east side of the northern entrance.
Additionally
Linking Words
, there was a pond for water plants on top of the east corner of the plan, which was replaced by a children’s play area.
According to
Linking Words
 the map, a glasshouse was demolished, and a water feature was created
instead
Linking Words
. Some places were reconstructed.
For instance
Linking Words
, there was a stage for musicians on the west side of the plan, which was expanded to convert to the Amphitheatre for concerts.
Apart from
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 two entrances from Eldon Street and Arnold Avenue remained unchanged, a new entrance through the underground car park was added to the complex. All in all,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 significant changes have happened from 1920
until
Change preposition
to
show examples
 today.

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task response
The essay shows a good plan with many details about changes. To reach a higher band, add a clear overview at the start and a short wrap-up at the end, and keep the focus on the main changes with direct links.
coherence cohesion
Link ideas well across the text. Use simple connect words like 'and', 'but', 'also', 'for example'. Make each paragraph have one main idea, and keep the tense steady.
content
Clear overview of the main changes.
coherence
Good use of example phrases to show details (for example, 'Additionally').
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • alterations
  • renovations
  • modernize
  • upgraded
  • transformed
  • landscaping
  • facilities
  • amenities
  • preservation
  • heritage
  • green spaces
  • eco-friendly
  • public space
  • community impact
  • historical elements
  • conservation
  • recreational areas
  • urban planning
  • sustainable development
  • layout
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