Some people think the money spent in developing the technology for space exploration is not justified. There are more beneficial ways to spend this money. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

It is often argued among individuals that the amount of funds invested in manufacturing the equipment for galaxy exploration is unjustified.
Furthermore
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, there are a lot of fruitful alternatives to spend
this
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investment.
While
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I admit that scouting the universe , like studying the stars and exploring the moon , other than our planet, is necessary, I believe that certain needs,
such
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as basic health care and education, must be fulfilled urgently. As we all know, we humans are curious to know things beyond our world.
Additionally
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, we want to have knowledge of other space creatures and their lifestyle as well.
As a result
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, we use our funds to develop the technology that can help us explore the unseen space , and
this
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approach has a lot of positive aspects. First and foremost, the benefit is the connection to the past.
In addition
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, people can study the universe to predict where humans came from and how we evolved.
For instance
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, Edwin Hubble’s theory of the Big Bang
,
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showed us how our whole planetary system started, from just one explosion.
Secondly
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, by inspecting the stars, we can try to trace the other creatures in
this
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universe as well.
For example
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, many countries are sending their satellites to the moon
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in order to get a clue about other living beings. As the saying goes,
instead
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of spending the investment on exploring the galaxy, there exist a number of other usages as well.
Firstly
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, governing bodies should try to spend that money on better healthcare systems.
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,
this
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will help us to fulfil one of the basic needs of individuals.
On the other hand
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, the government can spend the extra capital on the betterment of the educational institutions.
Thirdly
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, we can donate money to welfare as well. For illustration, we can save precious lives in Africa by providing them with quality water. In light of the above facts,
although
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I admit, exploring the space is crucial for societies and has a lot of positive advantages, I strongly believe that
such
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an approach doesn’t make sense to me.
In addition
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, we as a nation
,
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should invest more in alternatives that we discussed in the previous paragraph.

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task response
State a clear position at the start and keep it in all the body paragraphs.
language use
Use simple, short sentences to keep meaning clear and easy to follow.
coherence
Link ideas with small cue words like first, next, also, but, so to enclose the flow.
examples
Give one or two strong examples and explain how they back your point.
grammar
Check for small grammar mate to avoid run on or wrong word choice.
content
The essay at once shows a view against space spending.
content
The writer points two good ideas - more care and school must be funded.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • space exploration
  • justified expenditure
  • technological advances
  • earthly concerns
  • telecommunications
  • environmental conservation
  • inspire innovation
  • diplomatic relationships
  • peaceful cooperation
  • long-term survival
  • colonization
  • commercial ventures
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